Thursday, September 03, 2009

Government 101: Democrats, Republicans, and Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III

As Obama and the House and Senate are set to return to their jobs after the upcoming Labor Day Weekend, a few thoughts came to my mind in regards as to what troubles our nation.

President Obama, after defeating John McCain took his victory as a mandate for all things Obama.

Many Democrats in the House and Senate saw his victory as an exclamation point on the gains that they had made in Congress during the 2006 and 2008 elections, and in concert with President Obama decided to remake America in their image.

The Republicans?

They want to do nothing…well, other than to instill images of Death Panels, terrorist attacks, and gay married people running amok, into the minds of paranoid Americans.

As soon as Obama assumed office, Congress passed the ginormous stimulus plan in order to feed some financial lithium to an American economy on the edge of deep depression.

I get that.

It was an expensive proposition, but I think that in 9-12 months, the benefits of the stimulus package will begin to pay off for our economy, and even the job numbers, which typically lag behind an economic upswing, will see considerable improvement.

But, after that…

Obama decided to reform our health care system…As our nation’s health care costs are exploding, eating up 1/6th of our economy, and millions go uninsured, it is an admirable goal.

Cost containment, portability, and affordability are issues that must be dealt with.

However, Obama and the Democrats should have limited their reformation of health care to those three health care issues. What’s not to like about those goals? Nothing.

But noooooo, they had to go and push for a complete overhaul while Americans are already nervous about the economy. Boneheads.

On the other side of the aisle?
Republicans want nothing done on this issue, because even those three issues smack of a slap in the face to the free market system and are fascistic, Stalinistic, and any other fearful “istic” phrase they can think of.

The Dems went a bridge too far, and the Republicans want no bridges built at all. Unless, of course, it’s a bridge to nowhere.

On top of that?

The Dems and the Obama administration are pushing for a new energy program, torture investigations, and a dozen other agenda items including repealing the Defense of Marriage Act.

Seriously, the Dems should have kept it simple until the economy turned around and people weren’t bombarded by proposals of change upon change while many Americans are unsure if their job or house will be there tomorrow.

Dems, you should have listened to the Richard Dreyfuss character from “What About Bob” and said to yourselves, “baby steps.”

Republicans, you need to get off your asses and offer counter-proposals…

Quit thinking that change is not needed and saying much like Voltaire’s character, Pangloss from Candide, “This is the best of all possible worlds.”

It’s not. And, I’m sure your tea baggers and town hall meeting naybobs don’t know who the hell Voltaire is anyway.

When I think of our government lately, I think of M*A*S*H. I remember Charles Winchester saying after his first session of surgery saying, “I do one thing. I do it very well, and then I move on.”

Either Hawkeye or BJ replies by saying something like, “Charles, this is meatball surgery. You patch them up and send them on.”

The meatball surgery idea is fine when you are close to a war front, because the wounded in M*A*S*H were sent on to an Evac hospital to be fully healed.

This nation has no Evac hospital. We need to focus on one thing at a time, do it very well, and then move on.

Of course, while Winchester had the right idea as to how to do something, Hawkeye had the right perspective.

Hawkeye was concerned about the patient, Winchester was more concerned about his own reputation.

America is the patient and needs a doctor like Hawkeye AND Winchester without the reputation and reelection seeking habit of Charles...


I doubt that that can happen...
Maybe it was Plato who was right…We need a Philosopher King. We need an Enlightened Absolutist.

What he have now, sure as hell isn’t working.

Cheers!!

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Carrie Prejean Suing For Religious Discrimination...I've Got A Better Idea

Carrie Prejean…

Dethroned former Miss California, former Miss U.S.A. Runner-Up, and now..?

One holy-rollin’, hot, litigious bitch…

She’s suing the Miss California Pageant organization (run by K2 Productions) for among other things, Religious Discrimination.

Now as Prejean is a chick who told a Republican group that losing her crown was in God’s plan, I can only assume that God has also advised her to sue Shanna Moakler, K2 Productions, et al. for their thievery of her crown…

Much like God obviously advised her to allow the Miss California Pageant officials to pay for her uber-successful breast implants prior to the Miss U.S.A. pageant.

Not only does God move in mysterious ways, he obviously digs Evangelical babes with perfectly formed fun bags.

Prejean is alleging that because of her anti-gay marriage stance and religious views, the title of Miss California was stripped from her. Those Godless bastards.

This hubbub all began back in April when Prejean stated during the Miss U.S.A. Pageant interview round that she believes in “opposite marriage” as opposed to same-sex marriage.

Her answer became a flashpoint of controversy after one of the pageant judges, the gay, talent-less fucktard, Perez Hilton went on a national rant.

Prejean says that her anti-gay marriage answer not only cost her the Miss U.S.A. crown but later, her title of Miss California as well.

Personally, I wouldn’t have lowered her score because of her marriage position, that’s her belief and so be it. I would have lowered her score for using the term, “opposite marriage”.

I would have thought to myself:

“Holy Cow, it’s such a shame that such a hot, full body is being kept alive and directed around by such an empty, empty head…No title for you, for putting a crown on that noggin would surely collapse its unsupported skull.”

Here’s the thing though…When one is being judged, don’t the judges bring their own prejudices, opinions, and ideas of what they want to see in a contestant to the judges’ table? Sure they do…

If I was a judge for one of these things, I would have an inclination to give a higher score to a chick who had dark hair, big tits, and could put complete sentences together.

If the judges didn’t like her answer and lowered her score because of it, that’s the way the tiara tumbles…and crying over it and suing over it, exposes Prejean to be more than what her nude photos showed her to be.

Carrie Prejean is an opportunist seeking celebrity, fame, and a huge payoff. The thing that turns her from a woman of physical beauty into a hideous human being is her hypocrisy.

She claims that her faith in God and the Holy Baby Jeebus has been her undoing. Nice try, Miss Hypocrite. You are not a follower of Biblical teachings, you are merely trying to use them as a catalyst for your advancement.

I don’t think God would appreciate your breast implants. They altered His image of you. He wouldn’t appreciate your nude photos. They were an affront to Him.

He wouldn’t appreciate His work being judged by idiotic dickheads like Perez Hilton in front of a national audience. That just flat pisses Him off.

You can’t have it both ways Miss Hypocrite, and you can’t get your crown back, but I do have a better idea on how to settle this issue while helping you to make amends with God Almighty…

Shut the fuck and up, and while you’re at it, give your breast implants back to the Miss California Pageant officials.

God would dig that.

Cheers!!

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

2009 NCAA College Football Season: Here's To Charlie Weis!!

Ahhhhh, the first day of September, and Labor Day Weekend is just a couple of days away.

It’s an extended weekend for many Americans, including myself. I am off Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and guess what I shall be doing…

Drinking mass quantities of potent potables and watching College Football!!


Damn Straight!! The 2009 NCAA Football season begins Thursday night, and the initial week of games continues right on through Monday.

Oh dear God, I do love it so.

There are a couple of really good match-ups taking place…Oregon vs. Boise State, Georgia vs. Oklahoma State, Alabama vs. Virginia Tech, and of course Saturday afternoon…

The Wolfpack of The University of Nevada invades South Bend to take on my beloved Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

I have no doubt that ND will suck, break my heart, and leave me spewing expletives from my mouth and steam from my big ears.

I have suffered through the Davie years, lost hope through the Willingham years, and now, I throw things at the TV through the Charlie Weis years.

Charlie “I Helped to Coach 18,000 Super Bowl Champions” Weis, has consistently put a defense on the field that operates under what I call, “The Croquet Wicket System” because ND opponents have no trouble rolling right through it.

He has done a decent job developing current Cleveland Browns and former ND QB Brady Quinn as well as current Irish QB Jimmy Claussen. Quinn and Claussen have become decent players because of Weis’ genius.

The success of those two has been in large part due to the fact Weis is incapable of developing an effective running game even if his upcoming opponent is, The University of Blind Thalidomide Babies.

When a team can’t run the ball, and as a result has to throw it often, a QB can get pretty good at passing and getting up off of his ass after taking a bone crushing, blind side hit from a 325 pound defensive end.

Oh Charlie…How you make us Notre Dame fans proud.


In fact, you make the entire Irish race proud, because when seeing a couple of Irish guys like Quinn and Claussen never failing to get up after another pounding on national TV, it proves how tough we Irish truly are.

God Bless Ya, Charlie.

On a sad note…


We suffered a death in the Bagwine Family over the weekend. The remote to our cable box, whom I have loved, adored, and long ago named, hANNd Margret, died from natural causes.

My sexy siren who offered me a world of entertainment, ease of channel surfing, and a feeling of omnipotence, could give no more.

As a result of her passing, I must trot down to our local Time Warner Cable office sometime this morning, and pick up a new channel girl...

For this weekend, I have beer to drink, a Charlie Weis Voodoo Doll to construct, and dozens of college football games between which I must be able to flip back and forth.

Cheers!!