I received a very important e-mail this morning from our President. I offer a small portion of it to you, with some changes of my own.
…But to do that, Matt, we must re-elect Republican idiots to the House and U.S. Senate.
Our GOP candidates need your support. Please send a contribution of $100, $50 or $25 to the RNC today to help elect more shenanigans in 2006. You can send your blood money the the RNC's secure website at www.adress deleted
We have made remarkable progress enacting our bold, responsible agenda for America in the last five and a half years. Working together, we can continue to keep our nation moving forward to greater peace, prosperity and security. (Ed. Note: Ha Ha Ha )
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
Frankly, I am quite impressed that he took the time write. Even with all of the distractions of the Israeli/Lebanon situation, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Krazy Kim, he made an effort to reach out to me, the common man. My contribution is going out right away.
Big news for you today. The Clark County Fair has begun. Yes the annual summer classic has opened its doors and its pig pens for the largely inbred community. Plenty of women walking around in tank tops as their funnel cake filled bellies jiggle, “hello” to all passers by. Rail thin meth men walk around shirtless as they lean from the weight of their 30 pound wallet chain. Ah, the fair. Cows, Pork Queens, and Cotton Candy.
One rule of thumb about the rides at county fairs. Take a good look at the ride operator. Count how many teeth he’s lost, multiply that by 17, and that’s how many bolts are missing from the “Tilt-a-Whirl”.
Well, time for me to enclose my $100.00 check to the RNC in order to continue this administration’s awesome track record of peace and prosperity. Off to the Post Office!!
And Now, Our Moment of Hinn…
“There's the real and the genuine, and there's the phony.”
--Benny Hinn
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