It's President's Day...Let's Party!!

Today is President’s Day in the U.S. That means there is no mail delivery, many schools are closed, and Americans reflect on the greatness of our former leaders, even though most cannot name more than one or two of them. I could, given an adequate amount of time, name them all. I’m patriotic in that kind of way. Why I even sent a Happy President’s Day card to our current leader, and I really hope that Dick Cheney likes it. I wish that more American’s would use this day as a National Event.

I think bars and restaurants should have President’s Day specials. For breakfast I could order an Abraham and Cheese Omelet, with three sausage Lincolns, and a side of Mary Todd crazy bread. Yum-Oh….Of course I would phone ahead and reserve the John Wilkes Booth. Good food and primo seating.

For lunch I could order the Dubya platter, which consists of chicken assholes, tough beans, and a slice of lame duck. Maybe I’d place an order for a few Teddy Roosevelt “Walk Softly and Carry a Big Fried Cheese on a Stick.” For dessert in honor of Thomas Jefferson I could have a big piece of chocolate pie!! Dee-Lish. I guess perhaps if I am really hungry I could order the William Howard Taft Combo, which is one of everything on the menu. If things turn out to be as delicious as they sound I’ll be singing “Hail to the Chef”!!

We should put up red, white, and blue lights. Someone could manufacture Presidential Bobble Head Dolls. And the entire country could pause and watch George W. Bush lay a wreath at the grave of George Washington. And then we could listen to Dubya turn to Karl Rove and ask, “Why is Washington the only one referred to as the Father of Our Country, when Lincoln said that our country had four Fathers?” He is so lovable and so warm, just like a little puppy…that you’d like to kick and then feed him a bowl of antifreeze. But I digress…

So this President’s Day I will be reflecting on those giants who have ruled this great nation. I will think back lovingly on Nixon and his ability to lie to millions without cracking a smile. I’ll reminisce on Bill Clinton tirelessly dictating in the Oral Office and for providing big chicks with the same chance of giving a blow job to the leader of the free world as a Playboy Bunny. Taylor, Arthur, Fillmore, Hoover and the others, the best that America has to offer. Be proud my fellow Americans, be proud…Cheers...

Make sure to wish Mo a Happy B-Day. There is a link to his site on the Yo Mo Post Below!!