Matt-Man: It's All About The Children

I sometimes talk about the searches I get that direct people to my site. Well, folks I have one for you. The other day, unfortunately, someone typed in the Google Search, “mat man children’s songs…”.

I feel bad about this because it directed them to my site and my song, "Nazarean Dandy”. Granted, this is a fine song, but nothing that a young child should hear.

Well, I Googled the same search that was typed in and I discovered that not only am I a funny man, I am a teaching tool for young children…That’s right Mat-Man™ - A Friend to All. Interestingly enough a company has turned me into an educational tool. But what kind of tool am I? Well, let’s read the description and instructions shall we?

“Everyone needs friends. Friends make us happy, fill our hearts with joy, and teach us things about life. Mat Man™ is quickly becoming friends with children across America.” Awwwww, I am so nice, aren’t I, but exactly what am I teaching our children? The company explains it here…

“Mat Man™ was created to teach preschool children body awareness and other important readiness skills.” I am honored that these folks would use me to teach kids about their bodies. I wonder how this company has re-created me.

“Mat Man™ is a floor person. He’s made of simple wood pieces, a mat, and a few ACCESSORIES.” Cool, I wonder exactly what accessories they are talking about!! I also wonder, how does Mat Man™ gets used?

“Who makes him? The teacher makes him first and brings him to life on the floor.” Whoa, should the kids be watching this? What happens next? The teacher gives me away and get this, “Each child is given one part to hold.” Oh c’mon guys, that’s just sick, not to mention illegal!!

Okay, wait a minute. After giving away my parts, the children put me back together while singing the song, “The Bear Went Over the Mountain”. WTF? Whatever helps the kids I guess.

This all sounds a little freaky and creepy to me, but if they want to use me as a learning tool, so be it. In fact they sum it up pretty well…“Mat Man™ does an important job. He helps children learn about their bodies, body functions, counting, taking turns, sequencing, placing pieces, and participating in groups.”

I guess this is all good, I mean, if I can help just one child learn about bodily functions and the unbridled passion importance of group participation, I will consider my life a success.

You can read the entire instructions by clicking HERE. Just remember to keep this Matt Man in mind while doing so.

Cheers!!