Post Coital Jocularity: The Best Of Bagwine 2007...June

For the regular reader of Bagwine Ruminations, most of you know that I, like millions of other red-blooded males (and more than a few females) have a thing for Jessica Alba.

When the latest Fantastic Four movie came out this past summer, I was all over it.

From June 18, 2007, I present to you: Fantastic Matt: Rise of the Flesh Toned Surfboard...

The new Fantastic 4 movie really cleaned up at the Box Office this weekend. I haven’t seen it yet but I do really love one of the characters, The Invisible Woman.

Yes I am a shallow man and part of my affection for the character is purely for masturbation purposes sexual, but I think Jessica Alba through her theatrical genius, has captured the essence of this particular superhero.

I spend hours on end thinking about the fun I could have with the Invisible Woman. I even had a dream about her the other night.

She came over and we started drinking some WIR. We sat on the couch and she began to rub her form fitting superhero suit up against me. We put down our drinks and she straddles me as I sit on the couch.

She puts her lips to mine and then proceeds to tickle my uvula with her super tongue. She kisses my neck and I open my eyes and there on the TV is a one-eyed toucan singing a reggae version of “I’m Turning Japanese”…Anyway she stands up and takes my hand and says, “Let’s go to the bed.”

Once in bed, we lay down next to each other completely nekkid. After a few pecks and licks, she whispers in my ear, “Get kinky Matt-Man, do me while I’m invisible.” I said, “Okay, but how will I find everything?” Jessica…er…The Invisble Woman says, “You’ll do fine, after all, you’re Matt-Man, bitch!!”

When she said that, I didn’t know what turned me on more, that I was in bed with a gorgeous superhero, or the fact that she obviously reads my blog!!

Anyway, she went all invisible on me and I began the search and seizure mission. It did not start out well. I spent the first ten seconds French kissing her left eye. I then moved on to kiss and caress her super breasts which oddly had no nipples. It was then I realized that I was sucking on her kneecaps.

I took a minute to sit up and analyze the shape and position of how her body was sunk into the bed. I studied, and then hopped where I thought I would be in position for some good lovin’. When I landed she said, “Oooooo good job Matt-Man.”

Passionately yet gently, I begin to make lover to her, or as I romantically refer to it, “puttin’ the spud in the mud”. I hate to go into too much detail but I was in euphoric shock. Either the Enzyte I had been taking was adding the inches it guaranteed or this was the tightest hoo-ha I had ever come across.

I was nearing the moment of climax when I moaned a super moan, and she laughed a super laugh. Lying beneath me, laughing…she became visible. I looked down and discovered the source of her amusement.

I had spent the last two minutes banging the hell out of her belly button. The mood had been shattered.

She said, “It’s okay Matt-Man. I’ll stop by tomorrow and go see the movie with you. You can freak out everyone at the theatre by making out with me while I’m invisible. Just be ready to be called Pee-Wee Matt-Man. Ciao baby!!”

I hope this entry will help you to think of me if you go to view this fine movie which I have never seen.

Scroll down to see my "Best of 2007" entries from January through May.

Cheers!!