Saturday, April 09, 2011

He Was...He Is

I have a funeral to attend today.

A funeral for a brother. He was a good brother. He was a good father. He was a good man.

He was smart. He was funny. He was there for all. And today?

Today we will say our Hail Marys, make the sign of the cross, and put him into the dirt.

Afterwards, with his shell and soul neatly nestled within the dust,

We’ll drive to a restaurant. We’ll eat. We’ll Drink…and toss out the obligatory words for the departed, as we, in our corporeal suits, check our watches and eye the clock.

And then…

We’ll go to our homes, and go about our business like nothing ever happened.

In ironic juxtaposition to the ever warming spring here in Ohio, the ritual seems cold…sterile…a great man inexplicably exiled to a plot of land that knows no home, while the mourners exalt him between glasses of beer and finger sandwiches.

It’s odd. It’s a bit depressing, however…

Friday evening at the funeral home, my son, my ex, and I were standing together talking.

I said, “This sucks.”, the ex sympathetically rubbed me on the back, and Ryno spoke:

“Mom, he was so funny Christmas Eve at Uncle Marty’s. He was sitting there cutting up and making everyone laugh. He was just like Dad.”

When Ryno said that, I cried, and at the same time I smiled, and that is what I will think about during the funeral.

And what I will think about every time I think about my brother who has passed.

The ritual of death and passing may be sterile and methodical however, the spirit and character of those who have gone before us remain, and I guess it makes sense that my brother is now boundless and without borders…

“Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.”

--Dylan Thomas

Cheers!!

10 comments:

David said...

As for me personally, I want to be cremated and have my ashes dumped in the river to flow to the ocean so I can travel the world in perpetutity....but since your brother has a 'plot', is there an address where we can mail him hallmark cards and well wishes? ps...I would never say that to someone unless they have the witty snarky of Matt-Man.

Mike said...

John will live on as long as he is the memory of friends and loved ones. He will live in the stories that will be told.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I know you will hang on to the happy memories.

Average Chick said...

I'm so sorry hun. The formality of funerals really is cold. It doesn't describe the person usually. Drink a beer in his honor and toast the good times.

sybil law said...

And he will always be a great man- as long as his memory lives on.
xoxoxo

Jay said...

You won't go on as if nothing ever happened though. You won't just forget him or stop thinking about him.

Alfro said...

Deepest Condolences.

Sodapop said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. He will always be a good man, because he will live on in spirit and in your hearts and minds. xoxo

Andy said...

Well said Matt. Very nice. Thoughts are with you and your family during this time. . . . lets get together soon and have a few. . . many. . . .lots. . . .

Matt-Man said...

Thanks all. As far as funerals go it was quite a nice time hanging out with friends and family. Have a wunnerful Sunday. Cheers to all!!