I’m very, very anal about money ever since I had to file bankruptcy last year. Who knew all those fuckers wanted paid. Idiots. Any type of spend-a-thon would never be in the cards for me, unless…
(Cue the dream sequence music...)
I’m sitting at my desk here at work and find out that I just won the Lottery!!
I could tear down the wall between our apartment, and the two bedroom next door. We’d get one huge ass place that I could remodel to my specifications. OCD much? Why yes.
Sorry Matt, posters of naked woman do not count as décor. Oh, ok, you can have Michele Bachmann.
Also, we’d get rid of the crazy eyed, talk to myself chick, and her lazy, full grown, asshole son. Twofer, and SCORE!!
I would have separate bank accounts for everything. Home, taxes, family, me and Matt-Man. I’d even have a lawyer. But no accountant…
They’re shifty. Also when they start talking about numbers, my eyes glaze over.
I’d buy my Honda CRV, but it wouldn’t have to be new. Oh, who the fuck am I kidding. Mama needs heated seats, and a remote starter!
We could actually have a full size fridge, and stove. That, you know, are LEVEL. Whoo, that would be a perk in itself.
Wouldn’t it be great to go to the grocery, or any store for that matter, and not have to check all prices? Or robbing Peter to pay Paul? That is stressful.
I won’t go into all the details of everything I would do to a new place. It would be tedious to anyone but me.
What would you do if you suddenly found yourself with a large sum of money?