Have you ever loved someone so much, that you keep pushing them away because you’re scared?
I met my soul mate eleven years ago. I didn’t know you could actually have one of those.
Yet I, being an asshole, shut him out.
Why? Good question.
I do it because I’m afraid of being hurt. Strike first, apologize later.
The apologies aren’t working anymore. And well, they shouldn’t.
You can only say you’re sorry to someone who loves you so many times before it becomes ineffective…a bad salve if you will.
I need to open my heart more, instead of shutting if off. Yes, I am afraid, always have been, but I am the one who said I love you first. I have to live up to my game.
I love you Matt.
I know you are skeptical. You have every right to be.
Know this, I will never have to say I’m sorry again. Unless I fuck up your fantasy football thingy while trying to “help” you.