Questions ala David

As part of my post this past Wednesday, I asked readers to ask me anything they’d like…things that perhaps that they didn’t know about me.

I answered the majority of them in the comments section, but one chucklehead decided to ask me a myriad of questions that would require more than a brief comment.

David, a frequent Bagwine commenter and man of ambiguous sexual orientation, posed several inquiries.

Since I find David to be a funny guy and wonderful addition to the discussions that take place here, I thought I would take some time to answer his questions…

Did you have typing classes as a formal introduction to the qwerty keyboard, or are you self-taught or are you a hunt-and-pecker?

I took typing for two grading periods during my freshman year of High School. I sat next to Susan Heeg, who had the most incredible breasts I had ever seen up to that point. Today, I type using a combination of knowing where the keys are but still peck now and then. Kinda like I do when having sex.

When writing, how often do you use a dictionary or thesaurus either on-line or paper?

I use a Thesaurus once in awhile typically to find words that offer me alliteration. I deeply dig alliteration. The Dictionary? Not often…but maybe I knead to use one moor often.

How often do you use the googles or other search engine queries to fact-check or research a blog post and do you have a preference?

I actually do research my topics as thoroughly as time allows. Even if I am poking fun of something, I want to know the actual history and facts behind what I am talking about. I am a Google user almost exclusively.

Other than Schmoop, who is the hottest chick you ever actually boinked (fake names accepted) and why is she the hottest?

Now that’s a fun question!! Other than Schmoop, it had to be a chick named Tiffany.

We only had sex a few times, but man it was always loud, proud, and sassy. And it all began the first time I met her sitting with mutual friends in a bar. As the night went on, she put her hand on my thigh…then rubbed…and finally ended up giving me a hand job in said bar. What’s not to like?

Other than myself, of course, for whom would you go gay? Living now or formerly living…if you go for “living or dead” people, I don’t think I’m up for that info just yet.

It would have to be a “chick” that comes through the Beer Mine. Oddly enough, “her” name is Tiffany as well, although my co-workers refer to “her” as, Timmy. I guess I’m taken in by her cute face, her man hands, and the lilt in “her” voice when “she” bellows:

“Marlboro Reds in a Box, Matt. I know, I had quit smoking, but I just found out that the guy I am dating is my father.” What say you, Pizza Bill?

David had a few more questions, but I shall save those for another day. I want to thank David for his morbid curiosity about me.

It’s friends like him, who make life interesting…and in way, disturbing.

I am spending some time with Ryno this morning and then back to the digs to woop it up.

Have a wonderful Saturday all. May you all find a girl like Tiffany, be she a she, or a he, or whatever.

Cheers!!