Showing posts with label Bob Dole. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bob Dole. Show all posts

Thursday, February 21, 2008

John McCain: Sex, Lies, and Viagra-Gate

I am having a burdensome time trying to complete my plans for my Six Flags Over Jesus Theme Park.

I am now drawing artist’s conceptions of the place, so it isn’t ready for publication. (Sorry Jahooni)

It’s just as well, because an earthquake has rumbled through the tec-electoral plates of the 2008 Presidential campaign.

Rumors and more importantly, innuendo, have implied that John McCain may have done some legislative favors for a telecommunications lobbyist back in 1999 and 2000.

If true, this would make me think much less of Senator McCain than I already do.

It is also rumored that McCain and the lobbyist in question, Vicki Iseman, may have been more than just friends in legislation. They may have been involved in a little extra-marital filibustering…

If this is true, it would make me think much more of Senator McCain than I currently do.

Let’s do the math folks…This alleged activity took place during McCain’s run for the Presidency back in 2000. He would have been about 63 years old. Iseman, who is now 40, would have been 32 years old. Zowie!!

Move over Bob Dole, there’s a new, blue pill fueled pecker in town.

I would be in awe of McCain if he indeed did put his congressional corn dog to use and offered up his pork to a young, horny lobbyist. Or should we call Vicki, a labia-ist?

In my opinion, this alleged activity would just be an example of McCain flexing his potential Presidential man-muscle in the rich tradition of past Executive Office-Holders.

Thomas Jefferson, Warren Harding, JFK, and Bill Clinton to name a few have felt the need to release some job related pressure with lovely women other than their wives.


If it was good enough for them, by God, it is good enough for John McCain…That is so very American.

I don’t blame McCain for lusting after a younger woman. Running for President and being a high-profile Senator can really back up one’s nether regions.

I don’t blame Vicki Iseman either.

I mean, which starry-eyed 32 year old political groupie and corporate interest concubine wouldn’t want to take a hot, slow ride on the McCain Straight Talk Express?

Not a one...and furthermore folks, to add some possibility to this entire Vicki Iseman scenario having actually taken place, remember this:

You can’t spell "Iseman", without “Seman”.

One final note of amusement and irony. I want to thank the fine folks at The Sacrament.Com for running my video interpretation of Old Time God on their site.

The Sacrament.Com site is a sacrament information and Christian resource website. Who knew that they would have such a sense of humor? But to that Godly Group, once again, thanks!!

See you tomorrow Bagwine Heads…

Cheers!!