Two weeks into the job, and the motherfucker had to go on hiatus. Jeebus Christ, he’s such a Mary.
Anyhoo, I am filling in for Dave and I am pissed.
Yeah, that’s right…
In spite of my vow to be warm and caring all Summer, I am more pissed off than a guy who just chugged three 40 ounce bottles of King Cobra Malt Liquor.
And trust me, I know all too well, the experience of pissin’ all over my pants from drinking too much Snake in a Bottle.
Anyhoo…I announced my Matt-Man Summer of Love the other day, and let me tell you…
You guys blow!! You don’t want me to be nice and cuddly. What the fuck is wrong with you bastards?
Oh no, we want Matt-Man to be abrasive and irritating. How dare him want to love his fellow man and woman, you ask?
Yeah, whatever…Blow Me. Well, dig this, Bitches…
I am still gonna have the Summer of Love, but it’s going to be about nothing but sex. I am going to get laid and have free love all Summer.
But what about Schmoop, you ask? I will be courteous about it.
Just as John Edwards only started his affair when his wife, Elizabeth, was in remission from cancer…
I will only have sex with others when Schmoop is either pre-menstrual or actually ragging.
That should give me
Okay with that announcement out of the way, I have a political diatribe to make.
There is a big furor (I love that word) going on over possibly bringing enemy MUSLIM combatants from Gitmo to prisons here in the States.
Big Fucking Deal…
Have you ever worked, been associated with, or done time in prison? I have.Worked there, not done time in one, ya see...
I represented prison workers (doctors, nurses, psych assts., social workers, etc) for 5 years, when I worked for SEIU. I have been in every adult and youth correctional facility in Ohio.
Trust me…Closing Gitmo and shipping these fuckers here is no big deal. In fact, if you care about the terrorists, you would cry because they would probably be safer at Gitmo.
Most reps and Senators are crying crocodile tears saying, “My folks do not want terrorists in their backyard!! They don’t want them on American soil.”
Ha. Fuck that. Nice sound bite Senator…But you know not what you talk about. Those terrorists, if let loose into a general prison population would be killed quicker than a guy with a child molester tag on his rap.
So there you have it. I am having sex all summer, and terrorists should be in America prisons.
Is that a good enough nugget of knowledge to do away with my cuddly, “all love” attitude? If it’s not? Blow Me!!
Happy Memorial Day Weekend.
Cheers!!
