Ahhhhhhh, at long last, summer in Ohio. It has been a less than mild May here, but the forecast for this Memorial Day Weekend is hot, hot, hot. Temperatures will be kissing the 90 degree mark and folks will be basking in the rays of the vainglorious sun.
The gentle, late vernal breeze will overwhelm my olfactory system with a symphony of aromatic delights…Charcoal smoldering, a Johnsonville brat just beginning to burn, tanning lotion, and the smell of lilacs bursting forth in bloom. My other senses capture the brilliance of the flowers, the soft caress of splashing water, and the narcotic melody of the mourning dove.
Ahhhhhhh indeed, summer in Ohio.
Summer offers me the chance to go see the Memorial Day parade and stare in disbelief as a grown man riding a scooter while wearing a fez. Hear a marching band butcher “Hang On Sloopy”, which is an awful song to being with, and watch every known piece of fire equipment pass before my eyes.
Yes summer in Ohio...Where the humidity gets as high as the temperature. Upon stepping out of your dwelling, you spontaneously burst into a mass sweltering, sweaty jelly. Your fluids pouring down your body like wax on a flaming candle.
Summer in Ohio…When you can hear the weeping and wailing of the children next door. They cry as their drunken father smacks their mother with a hot metal spatula because she yelled at him for burning the hamburgers and peeing in the backyard.
To seek respite from the domestic squabble, I take a stroll into the woods. After finding my happy space, I begin to make my way back. I leave with some friends. The friends? Three ticks infested with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and Lyme Disease. As I am picking them off of me, a dead bird falls from the sky, stricken with West Nile Virus.
The highlight of summer is probably the 4th of July, when friends get together and have a big cook-out. Ah yes, brats, burgers, and corn on the cob what could be better. Well, for one add a keg of beer, and once everyone is good and snockered, begin the fireworks show!!! What says “independence” more than one’s right to set someone’s hair on fire with a misdirected Roman Candle or lose one’s sight when checking to see if the fuse on the Super Happy Flower Fountain is still burning?
Yes indeed, summer and Ohio, gotta love it. Not necessarily the best of times, but hey, that’s life….or is it? Ladies and gentlemen, for a more detailed meaning of what life is…I offer to you…
OUR MOMENT OF HINN:
My mom has diabetes, my daddy died with cancer. That's life. Benny Hinn
3 comments:
Oh man... You really make me want to go home for the summer.
And that barbecue where the woman gets smacked with the spatula for peeing in the yard? Dude... you were totally hanging out in my neighborhood, weren't you?
Enjoy your weekend. Our rain and cold has returned just in time for our trip to the beach.
Have a gouda one !!!
Little birdie in the window, there is no food today; only death.
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