I Just Dont Freakin' Understand

I’ve been thinking. I have various issues with certain words. Some words, on the surface, make total sense until one thinks about them in different contexts.

Take for instance the word “inept”. The word, according to Dictionary.Com means the following:

Not apt or fitting; inappropriate.

Displaying a lack of judgment, sense, or reason; foolish: an inept remark.
Bungling or clumsy; incompetent: inept handling of the account.

I can accept that; however, shouldn’t the opposite of “inept” be the word “ept”? Well, there is no such word and my MS Word program just confirmed it by underlining it in red when I typed it. In the English language, “ept” is the opposite of “inept”, only if “being incompetent” is the opposite of “early pregnancy test”.

Sometimes people want to curry favor or enter the “inner-circle” by “ingratiating” themselves. I, on the other hand, would rather not curry favor but I can’t because there is no such word as “GRATIATE”. Along the same lines, an "ingrate" is a bad thing. So it follows that a "grate" should be a good thing. I guess it is if you have a fetish for covers that lay atop street drains.

Last night while drinking a big glass of Rose, I began to shudder. A horrible thought urgently sloshed around in my brain. I wondered what has become of all of the people who have gone somewhere “incognito”. They must be floating in an unidentifiable dimension because once one goes “incognito”, there is no way to go “cognito”.

I am going to break the shackles and chains of the English language. No longer will I play by their idiotic and confining rules. When I find myself lying on the couch too long, I’m going to get off of my ass and be in a state of “ertia”.

I really do not want anyone coming over this weekend, so I am going to call my friends and “vite” them. Instead of being my surly self this weekend, when some idiot cuts me off on the road, I wont yell...I wont flip the bird, instead, I will “sult” them.

Hell, I feel so liberated now I may just skip the wine this weekend and stay “ebriated”…Well, check back with me on that one.


And Now…Our Moment of Hinn:

"I want to use Holy Ghost machine gun to kill Heresy Hunters."
Benny Hinn