I'm Thinkin' Nobel Prize

The weekend has come and gone, and I made it through relatively unscathed. I played baseball with my son Saturday and other than a pulled right hamstring and a stiff right shoulder, I am alive and without any cuts, bruises, or abrasions.

I just hung out on Saturday listening to some music, watching some baseball, and of course swilling some Rose. I talked to an old friend on the phone. We have been friends since 4th or 5th grade, and although we rarely get a chance to see each other; when we do talk, it’s like we have never been apart. Ah just a relaxing uneventful day.

Sunday started off the same way. I had some coffee and watched the Sunday Morning News shows, and then…it happened. That incredibly annoying “Head-On” commercial came on. You know the one for the tube of headache relief:

“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Forehead !!
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Forehead !!
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Forehead !!

I have complained about this before, but for some reason I went to Walgreen’s and picked up a tube of the crap just to check it out. I brought it home and put some on my hand to look at it, smell it, and feel it, merely a casual study of the concoction. As fate would have it, I accidentally adulterated the substance by getting some out dated Tartar Sauce on it (don’t ask). My skin began to peel away from my palm. It didn’t hurt at all it just gently removed some of the skin. I washed up and poured a glass of Rose. After about my fourth glass, I had an epiphany.

I again tried the mixture of “Head-On” and Tartar Sauce and sure enough, when I applied it to my left knee cap, the same soothing skin removal occurred. The die was cast and all of the glories associated with a medical breakthrough ran through my mind. The medical application of this discovery was clear: I had just invented a non-surgical procedure for circumcisions!! I just need the folks at “Head-On” to tweak their tag line…

“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Foreskin !!
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Foreskin !!
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Foreskin !!

Am I a freaking genius or what?
Matt-Man + Wild Irish Rose = Advances in Medical Science.

And Now…Our Moment of Hinn:

"Jesus was taller than I thought He would be. I would guess Him to be from five feet eleven inches to six feet one inch. I thought at first His hair was white, but when He turned His head, I caught a glance and saw that it was light brown. When He looked at me, the glory of God was emanating from Him. I said, "Jesus!" He said simply, "Do you like this place?" I said, "Yes, Sir"

--Jesse Duplantis