As the violence continues in the Middle East, I tried to think of some possible non-violent solutions to the problem. Brain cramps aside, I offer this:
Have Nasrallah and Olmert square off in a best of seven Rock, Paper, Scissors contest.
Place a plate full of bacon, pork chops, and sausage in front of an Israeli soldier and a Hezbollah fighter to see who succumbs to the temptation of the porcine feast. Whoever eats first loses.
I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 10,000…who ever comes closest…….
Tonight on the Food Network: Bebe Netenyahu and Fuad Sainora take on each other in “Iron Chef Stadium”. Tonight’s ingredients: Head Cheese and Chitlins.
Tug of War contest across the Sea of Galilee.
Broadcast via loudspeakers into both countries, David Soul’s timeless classic, “Don’t Give up on Us Baby.”
Equip all combatants with a case of Wild Irish Rose.
If all else fails,
Tell both parties that Donald Rumsfeld is working on a “peace” plan.
And Now, Our Moment of Hinn…
“We have documented miracles in our ministry that we done ourselves with doctors that we work with ourselves and they said no, they wanted people that they could document themself.”
--Benny Hinn (Ed. Note: Huh?)
5 comments:
As long as their weiners are All-Beef and no pork fillers...
Don't give up on us, baby! We can still pull throooough! That would definitely do the trick. Wait, I don't know if the Arabic and Hebrew translations would sound as sweet and do the job.
Man, I suddenly feel hungry for a fried headcheese and spam sandwich... lol
Actually, Laura, the Hebrew version is to die for, and Allie, you had me at Head Cheese ; )
I'm with Nick - have them whip it out and let's see who the real man is. I will be the jusge. Perhaps I should start checking out random people so I will truly know that I'm qualified.
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