Potpourri Friday Continues...

I have a few more ramblings that have come to mind on this gorgeous Friday in Springfield, Ohio.

I haven’t talked to my buddy Hair Care Joe since I posted about his hair and the night on the town we had. He shouldn’t be that upset, because he did a couple of things to me those many years ago. One Saturday morning in my dorm room, I awoke from my spirits induced slumber. For a few moments, I just lay there looking at the ceiling trying to get my wits about me. I looked around, and Joe evidently had gone somewhere. I slowly, as to not shock my hungover body, began to get up, but my legs wouldn’t move. For what seemed like minutes, but was probably seconds, I was in a panic. Thoughts of Ronny Raygun asking, “Where’s the rest of me?” filled my head. As the blood rushed from my skull cavity and the fear nearly overcame me, I realized what was wrong…That Son of a Bitch Joe had chained me to the bed while I was passed out. After a few mentions of God’s name, as well as Joe’s, I managed to release myself from bondage, and laugh uncontrollably. I wasn’t mad at Joe…I was proud of him.

I did get him back for that. He was over at his girlfriend’s dorm one late afternoon and called me for some reason. He asked what was going on and I said, “Nothing much, I don’t feel so good.” I told him my chest hurt and I was a little dizzy. He told me that he’d be back in a little while and we’d drink some beers. I told him okay, but only if I felt better. I kept an eye out for him and saw him coming. I raced back to the dorm. I shoved everything off of his desk and onto the floor. I knocked over one of the chairs and laid on the floor next to it. When Joe came in, saw the mess, and me laying there “unconscious”, he started screaming, “Matt, Matt, Are You Alright?..What’s Wrong?..Wake Up…” Just as I had planned, the bastard thought I had had a heart attack. When he began to shake me, I erupted in laughter, and he erupted in expletives. Of course, as always with Joe and I, the @#$%^ gave way to HAHAHAHA…What are friends for?

I saw a funny sign outside of a local church yesterday. It said, “Daily Bread Food Pantry, Open Saturday 10-2:30”. Of course, as mentioned earlier this week in a comment to a post of mine, my friend reminded me of the infantile humor provided by the sign in front of our neighborhood Peanut Shoppe which reads, “Fresh Nut Meats”. Giving credit where credit is due, I must mention a sign that was in front of a local Transmission and Cooling System repair place. This past summer their sign read, “Best Place in Town to Take a Leak.”

Man, oh man, this stream of consciousness stuff is great. I feel so relaxed. I may do this every Friday and avoid the rigors of creating a good post. This indeed is quite liberating, oh look a chicken!!

Anyhoo, I hope you all have a good weekend. Watch some football, get a good buzz, and enjoy some hot sex, I know I will….Well two out of three ain’t bad….Cheers

And Now Our Moment of Hinn…

Today, a classic quote from Pastor Rod Parsley of the World Harvest Church:

“When I say three…You shout two words, 'Come out!' I did this the other day. Two lesbians were having perverted sex, drinking alcohol, and snorting cocaine. But when I shouted, 'Come out' their glasses burst in their hands and they slithered out of the bed and got gloriously born again and filled with the Holy Ghost.”

--Pastor Rod Parsley (Ed. Note: WOW, where did this happen?)

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