Crack Open the Rose, It's Somone's Birthday!!
October 19, 1964 unto the world was born a child who one day, even into early adulthood, would find it fashionable to wear red, white, and blue plaid pants. A child who in fifth grade was honored as Traffic Boy of the month in September, and his picture remained posted outside of the principal’s office the entire year.
This freak wonder of nature ate the same thing for lunch everyday from first grade through his senior year….a couple of plain peanut butter sandwiches and two cartons of white milk. Some might find that boring, but I consider it downright American.
This great American of whom I speak, had a head full of unique locks and used every gel, mousse, and spray to keep his mane burn victim like stylish. He used Tussy deodorant and was confident enough to scream like a little girl when I told people let anyone know. He handcrafted sex toys for his girlfriend using a shovel handle state of the art materials.
If you are a regular reader of this site, you know by now who this great man is. I am of course speaking of the one and only, “Hair Care Joe”. Every man wants to avoid be him, and every inbred meth using female woman wants to be with him. Hair Care is an integral part of the Bagwine family and I hope you have come to love him as much as I. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Joe, I have provided the following links so you can learn more about this great human being:
Joe and the Safety Dance
The Drinks are on Me Joe
Dildo Joe
I’m Having a Heart Attack Joe
If you are bored have a moment, please leave a comment, and help me in wishing Joe a wacky and wonderful 42nd birthday. Show the man some Bagwine Lovin’…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAIR CARE, AND HAVE A PEACH BLOW FIZZ FOR ME!!!!Cheers…And Now Our Moment of Motto…
In honor of Indianapolis resident, Hair Care Joe:
Indiana: “Potatoe”
October 19, 1964 unto the world was born a child who one day, even into early adulthood, would find it fashionable to wear red, white, and blue plaid pants. A child who in fifth grade was honored as Traffic Boy of the month in September, and his picture remained posted outside of the principal’s office the entire year.
22 comments:
Uncouth basatrds...Hope you are enjoying life in merry ol' England, Adav. Cheers!!
A little hair of the dog as it were!!
Happy birthday, Joe! You doing the Safety Dance today with him, Matt?
I'll be dancing along with him in spirit, Lizza.
Now I have Safety Dance AND the Murphy Brown Potatoe epsisode trapped in my head....
whatever happened to Quayle?
Happy B-Day to Dildo Joe -- did you gift wrap him some Tussy?
~mo
It’s A Blog Eat Blog World
I not only FEEL like I know the man, I actually do! He's quite the ladies man. I gave him his present last night.
I think he's semi-retired working part-time as a freelance copy editor and proof reader
Happy b~day Joe!!
I have a tie dye shirt that fits the description of your hair lol!
I feel cheated tho... we need a pic! lol
[I'll never look at a shovel the same way again.. thankz alot MM]
Oooooo Allie did you guys break out the Tussy and Bryl Cream and get jiggy with it.
I will have to dig one up Cheesy. Sorry 'bout the shovel handle. Keep in mind, he did sand it down really well.
Let's just say that the Safety Dance isn't so safe when you're naked and covered with hair products.
You're worse than a whore...you're a "Tussy Hussy"
let's get the dance thing right...my style is a cross between Carlton, from Fresh Prince, and Elaine, from Seinfeld. My arms get the greatest work-out from their rhythmic movements. I am synchronized like an indian rain dance.
LOL...Joe you are a freak and I mean that in the most flattering way...Happy Birthday, this could be your Kim Lucky Day!! You need to e-mail me a recent photo of yourself so I can share it with all of your fans.
Happy Birthday, Hair Care Joe! The patriotic plaid pants sound beautiful! Hope you still have a pair that fit.
I remember the pants well. What is more humorious is that the pants really did look and fit well. I was MC Hammer'ish in the 70's; but with more hair and certainly packin' it in...if you know what I mean!
Bam!
Wow Joe, your description makes you sound like a small Hotel..."No Ballroom" Thank you, Thank you, I'll be here all week, try the veal and tip your waitress.
I know you are out there....I can here you breathing...but seriously folks take my wife please
Oh my god... I am now convinced that Matt is having this conversation with himself. lol
Hooray for Haircare Joe!
May your Tussy never leave unsightly stains...
Unless you're into that sort of thing.
No, Allie, Haircare is real and he's spectacular...And Janna, he is into that sort of thing.
I am into more than that baby!!!! Booya
Freak!!
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