Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Hail To The Matt-Man

If I Became the President of the United States…

The “Star Spangled Banner” would be replaced as the national anthem with “Let’s Get it On” by Marvin Gaye.

I would freely and readily admit to having had sex with any woman who said that I did.

All Capitol Hill pages would be over 18, female, and incredibly hot.

I’d put a mirror on the ceiling of the Lincoln bedroom, and a disco ball in the Oval Office.

My Treasury Secretary(ies) would be the Parker Brothers.

All Cabinet meetings would take place at Haven Bros. Diner in Providence, RI. “Damn Good Grease!!”

Ashlee Simpson would be executed turn up missing, leaving no trace of her whereabouts.

I would deliver the State of the Union Address wearing only sandals and a cummerbund, surrounded by a herd of Llamas.

I have even greater hopes and visions for my presidency. I will be back later today, to tell you all about it. Until then, Cheers.


And Now, Our Moment of Motto…

South Carolina: “Paul Metto Says, Hi”

14 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh my god... You'd better effing run. As a Democrat, it is my sole mission to vote for you at LEAST twice! Even if I was dead!

Schmoop said...

And just think, you could be my First Lady, but only if you get up early enough in the day!!

Mo and The Purries said...

I can see the sign in my yard now:
Matt-man & Gouda
Your Choice To Kick Republinazi Ass

I'll volunteer to be your official Llama Ambassador, okay?
~mo

It’s A Blog Eat Blog World

Schmoop said...

Ambassador Mo-Hair....Nice ring.

echo said...

And of course you'll make Wild Irish Rose the national beverage or something like that? And you gotta deliver the State of the Union address only when the nation's kids are all asleep! :-D

Schmoop said...

You will see my plans for Rose in about 30 minutes from now. Why wait 'til they're asleep? Do you think the llamas will offend them?

Unknown said...

I think that the Senate chamber should be designated for orgies every Saturday night as well.

Schmoop said...

Indeed...it is duly noted and filed upon the minutes.

Justin said...

Too funny! I could only hope to hear Mariah Carey sing that national anthem at the beginning of a baseball game.

Cheesy said...

Let's get it ON!!!! lol great giggles!

Schmoop said...

Hey Justin...Mariah Carey? Okay, just for you. Chessy, you make me hot just typing those four words.

Cheesy said...

HAHAHHA and thats why we to import of cold weather from Canada

Cheesy said...

"we need the import" of cold weather from Canada

Schmoop said...

I like it HOT and Sweaty