Friday, October 06, 2006

The Matt-Man Bares His Soul

You know what today is? It’s “Stream of Conciousness Friday”. This also marks my 100th post. Which means that I have spent nearly 100 days nestled within the friendship of my readers…Thank you all.

October weekends are great. The landscape becomes a kaleidoscope of colors, regaling in its autumnal splendor. The air seems fresher. The brats and Rose taste better. It is also somewhat of a bittersweet time of year. The lush green fields of ryegrass and fescue are preparing to sleep, perchance to dream…I think this time of year can best be described with the following:

Neath’ the pur’pling, swirling haze of Autumn
The languid cry of the last cicada
Weaves a dirge with an orphaned cricket
As fields lie barren from stream to thicket


That was beautiful, much like the Matt-Man. Oh, I know you folks see me as a sarcastic, grumpy, and oft times boorish bagwine drinker, but there is much more to me than that. I have a gentle and caring side to me. I love children and little kittens, in fact I find them both quite delicious. Before I do something I always ask myself, “What Would Jesus Do?”, and then I reposition myself closer to second base in case the batter tries to hit the pitch to right field.

I spend many hours a month volunteering. For instance, I spend a lot of time hanging out in the bathroom at the local park in case they get dirty or someone needs directions…or…you know, something. I do it out of the kindness of my heart, but sometimes people insist that I take a couple bucks. Who am I to insult them?

I am a patron of the arts as well. Over the years I have contributed time and money to some of the greatest dancers ever, namely, Candy Honeywell and Sarasota LeBreast. I also fund the new Classical Music Rap Group, “Ludwig van Blingthoven and the Overtures” whose new CD, “Pimp My Bach” will be in stores soon.

Really, folks, I am a decent guy. Thank you for spending the last few months with me. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I. I am giving you all a great big virtual hug and I hope you share the love over the weekend. I’ll see ya all back here Monday.

As always, Cheers….

Yours in Christ,

Matt-Man

And Now Our Moment of Motto…

Maryland: “We Got Crabs”

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Aw, I knew you were a decent guy all along, Bag Man! After all, it takes someone SPECIAL (not to mention someone with bowels of steel... although, perhaps not today...) to survive on a diet of fried SPAM and cheap wine.

;)

Schmoop said...

Shhhhh dont tell anyone...The only thing remotely close to the wonderfulnous of SPAM is Hamburger Helper and Loosemeat Sandwiches

Mo and The Purries said...

Congrats on your Centennial Post!

We Got Crabs = another classic

Schmoop said...

Thanks Mo...Have a Good Weekend, dude.

jbwritergirl said...

Well, well, well. Okay that's a joke about three holes in the ground. A lame attempt at humor. Way to go on all the posts and keep it up (she refers here to the masturbation post).

JB

Schmoop said...

Thanks JB and you do the same...