Streaming Friday !!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiday!! Boooooooo Yah and Hoot Mon!!

I have my favorite pair of black jeans on and am not wearing underwear. I feel so liberated. I wish it was socially acceptable for men to wear skirts in public. I would wear one everyday, ahhhhhhh lettin’ my boys drift in the breeze. Man, I wonder if Mo is starting to rub off on me…er…maybe that was an unfortunate way to put it.

In a related note, last night I was laying on the couch scratching my boys and Schmoop asked if I had an itch. I said, “No, why?” Is Madonna trying to adopt an African kid because it is in “Vogue”? Does anbody still douche? And if so, isn’t it disturbing that something can be made fresher with the use of vinegar? I’d really like to rub honey all over Rush Limbaugh’s body and throw him into a cave with a hungry, horny bear. I’d wear chemical gloves of course.

I was watching the news on MSNBC this morning. On the crawler at the bottom of the screen there was the following item: “Bahamas Probe Anna Nicole Smith’s Citizenship”. I found that line to be quite erotic. Who says, the news can’t be sexy? Walter Cronkite, that’s who. Clang Clang Clang went the trolley.

Joe and I are going to write a sit-com pilot for NBC. It’s a show about nothing, and keeping with the feel of this blog it is going to be called “Winefeld”…The weekend is 49 hours long this week. The sausage patties that I ate last night aren’t sitting so well. I hope I remember that I have no underwear on when I zip up after going to the bathroom.

Wow, that’s cool. Hey!! Anyway, ladies and gentleman…you know him, and love him. I give you the inaugural edition of “In the Know with Hair Care Joe”.

Dear Hair Care Joe:

I am attending a Halloween party this weekend and it will also be my first date with a woman I have always wanted to go out with. Any suggestions on what costume I should wear, and any ideas on how to impress her?

Thanks,

Fast Eddie
Peoria, Illinois

Dear Eddie:

First, it is my experience that ending a sentence with a preposition is inappropriate, and as such, chicks will not melt in your hands with sophomoric grammar. Secondly, the best costume is Tom Cruise. Women truly enjoy the Tom Cruise persona…An egotistic, self-centered, controlling male who has well documented knowledge of psychiatry and the inner workings of the female body and spirit.

Good Luck and BAM,

Joe

Hair Care Joe is Director for MAMPLA, “Mid-America Man Poodle Love Assoc.”, as well as President and CEO of "The Pablo Picasso School of Cosmetology". He is also a reformed cannibal.

Have a great weekend and spend it with someone tasty. See ya Monday. Cheers…