Turn the Page

I was under the weather yesterday. It was a combination of plugged sinuses, upset stomach, and acute indifference. Today, I feel better as a result of lying on the couch all day yesterday, and performing a Mongolian healing ritual that I picked up while coming down from a heroin binge on the outskirts of Ulan Bator in the summer of ’92.

I spent most of the day with my eyes fixed to the various Cable News shows. There was the tragedy in Pennsylvania Amish country, and of course the continuing scandal over Mark “I Prefer Veal” Foley. There is nothing much to say about the shootings, because I think we all feel the same sense of grief and tragedy. This Foley thing though, I am bewildered, and have a couple thoughts.

First of all, Foley is a pedophile and this non-sense of checking into alcohol rehab is a joke. Look, I have a head full of Wild Irish Rose frequently, and even in my psychedelic state I don’t yearn for the fertile loins of a 16 year old boy. Nor do I yearn for 16 year old girls. You know why? First of all, because it is CHILD ABUSE, and secondly 16 year olds do not have the slightest clue of what good sex is. I know this from first hand experience.

When I was in my teens I had my share of sexual encounters, and I think if I were to add the duration of all encounters together; the cumulative time would be 11 minutes and 7 seconds. At that age, the girl would just lay there and my biggest concern was getting naked, pulling an Emeril, “bam bam bam”, and getting dressed again, so I could go tell my buddies of my conquest. No siree, teens don’t know how to have sex. If I am going to have an illicit affair, I want someone who is experienced enough to enjoy the delights of candle wax, ice cubes, bruises, and rug burns.

Back to this Foley thing…I watched and listened to Speaker Dennis “What’s a Salad?” Hastert bemoan the fact that Foley lied to him and deceived the House Republicans. Riiiiiight. Speaker Buffet Line is just pissed because people are finding out that he and a few other “Family Value Republicans” knew of Foley’s actions for quite awhile, and did nothing…Nothing. Those scum bags think it is more important to protect the party than protect a child. I hope all voters remember that on November 7th.

My rant is done, and now on a lighter note. Frank, of “FoxxFyrre's Black and White Art Site” has an interesting thing going on. His site is hosting walls for people’s blog sites in graffiti form. He has posted mine recently, and for that I say, “Thanks.” Make sure you check out his site. Also I would like to thank Schmoop (whose picture is prominently displayed) for helping to nurse me back to health, and agreeing to let me post some of her less than stellar moments in future posts.

Cheers…

And Now Our Moment of Motto…

Minnesota: “Just Like Scandinavia, but Without the Sexy Babes”

Mark Foley Update 3:30 PM:

Former Rep. Mark Foley allegedly interrupted a vote on the House floor in 2003 to engage in cyber-sex with a former page, ABC News reports.

So that's what a quorum call is....!!