War and Pedophilia Take a Holiday

Oh the headlines these days, floundering and bloody nation building in Iraq, jobs being shipped over seas, and a member of congress trying to filibuster 16 year old boys, just to name a few. How I long for the simpler times of my youth, the halcyon days two decades removed from my existence. Oh how I miss the 80’s.

The 80’s provided us with MTV, big hair, and of course, two scintillating seasons of “Greatest American Hero” starring the incomparable William Katt, who later went on to give the “Psychic’s Friends Network” star power and added credibility.

The decade started out with my introduction into High School and served up a smorgasbord of new outlooks, feelings, and adventures. The 80’s were host to my deflowering. It was a special and tender moment. My girlfriend, Sherri, and I explored the beauty and pleasure of each other’s body and soul, as we humped like rabid bandicoots while listening to “The Cars” sing “You’re All I’ve Got Tonight”. Ah, the passion of youth.

Yes indeed, times were simpler, alcohol and smokes were cheaper, and my only big concern was that the U.S. Constitution would be changed, allowing Ronnie Raygun to run for a third term. I guess I could have handled that anyway, because Wild Irish Rose was only a $1.89 a fifth back then. At that price, it would have been easy to stay drunk for four more years.

Twenty years ago was a time to float down the Mad River on an inner-tube swilling some Gobel’s just as my friend Schmoop (notice the big hair) is doing in the picture. I didn’t know her back then, but I wished I had, because her breasts look so much perkier!! But then again, back then I had hair, good teeth, and the ability to get it up despite drinking all day. Where have you gone Matt-Dimaggio!?

I know, I know, I sound like any other generation when I say, “When I was young, we didn’t have these problems…” and of course each generation is wrong, myself included. In the 80’s, we were propping up Banana Fascists, trading arms for hostages, and supplying Iraq with chemical weapons, so we had plenty of things to be depressed about. I guess I can’t do anything about what has transpired so when I do look back; I dwell on the things that brought me joy.

And when you’re having a bad day, or the news is bumming you out, I hope you take the time to do the same.

Cheers…

And Now Our Moment of Motto….

Arkansas: “A Good Place to be From”