A Big Thanksgiving Bagwine Hug

This is probably my last post for the week. I will be spending time over the next few days reflecting upon all of which I have to be thankful. While I am ruminating, I will be eating food that has been carefully cooked and seasoned with not only the perfect herbs and spices, but infused with love. Love from the Matt-Man, whose heart will spill out into each dish, and emanate forth into a tsunami of peace and fellowship throughout Our Big Blue Marble.

I am thankful for so many things, but none more so than all of you who read, comment, or give inspiration to Bagwine Ruminations. Some of you have been here from the start, and I just want to say thank you.

Allie of “Memoirs of a Gouda”, was the catalyst behind me starting this site. Not only did she get me started and design my new look, she is constantly criticizing how I write providing me with great ideas. Thanks Allie, I wish I could punch kiss you right on the mouth, you cheeky monkey.

Laura of “This Is What I Do” has been leaving amusing comments for quite awhile. She traverses through the challenges in her life with a great sense of humor. She would make a good role model for some young woman if it wasn’t for her participation in a satanic lesbian cult called, Labia for Lucifer. I however, find the practice quite hot.

What can I say about Mo from “Blog Eat Blog World”? He was the force behind my site being named Best Blog of the Day. He makes me laugh, and he hates Republicans. He is the sister that I wished I had had. Rock on my friend, rock on.

Staying in the state of Michigan, I would like to give a shout out to Mo’s artistic muse, Janna. She has put together some excellent photoshop pics. She has put me into some funny, and awkward positions…er…um, you know what I mean.

There have been many new friends that I have linked recently…Carmen “Good Times and Boxed Whine” who is the definition of perseverance, Natalia “I Moved Your Cheese, Moron” who has a rapier wit and smarts to match, Boy from the UK and Wendy, (ooo la la) of “Baguette on my Table” from France were courageous enough to feed Loosemeat Sandwiches to their kids, as well as Sanni “Coffee 2 Go” who lives in Germany and is addicted to, well, coffee of course. All of you are quite psychotic a joy.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Steven Novak, but then again he wouldn’t notice. A long time reader and brand new blogger Adav “Blimey”, is a cross between Nietzsche and Benny Hill, go figure. Lizza “I am Woman See Me Blog” is a cocktail consisting of two parts warmth, one part introspection, and a whole lot of funny. However, she does lead people on with hopes of seeing her in a bikini.

Odat’s Mumblings and Jessica’s “SwedeHeart Stories” provide me with humor and hotness from the Eastern U.S., which granted, never typically shows up in that part of the country.

Aisby “Maybe I’m Confused” is a rabid Georgia Bulldog fan who seems much less confused than her parents, and JBLA provides all the news that fits. Of course Cheesy is a whiskey drinking, hilarious smartass, who has the sexiest thigh in the Willamette Valley…Boo Yah, Cheesy!! To all of you, Thanks.

Of course where would I be without a couple of others? Unhappy, that’s where. Haircare Joe has provided me with an endless stream of hilarious tales to tell, and has provided my readers with timeless advice every Friday. Strong locks, and a well sanded shovel handle, that’s our Haircare Joe.

To all of my fine friends over at the Trinity Broadcasting Network thank you for providing me material with which to work. Paul and Jan Crouch, Benny Hinn, Rod Parsley, Paula White, and Joyce Meyer, I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving because you have tirelessly devoured so many pensions saved so many souls. God Bless.

Happy Haikuving

The turkey tastes great
The wine flows, the people gorge
Aunt Sally is drunk

And Now, A Special Thanksgiving Edition of, “In the Know with Haircare Joe”…

Dear Haircare Joe:

Just curious, what are your best and worst memories from Thanksgivings past?

Sincerely,
Mike Rommeter
Knoxville, TN.

Mike,

It is with sadness that I speak of Thanksgiving. In my world of despair, there is no longer a day of Thanksgiving. No, it is not because I am a pagan who rails against the religious spirit that possessed those brave individuals to trek across the “pond” from Merry old England.

It is because this date marks the anniversary of my accident. Though you have not seen me, I was once a vibrant, testosterone laden brute. But, 18 Thanksgivings ago, the world lost something special. Being right handed and on the cusp of stardom on the Pro Bowling circuit, I lost my right thumb in a tragic knife accident while attending to my drunken mom making mashed potatoes.

Sliced potatoes, whipping cream and butter cause my stomach to sicken; for it was this day, this day I tell you, that my thumb was lost in a frothy pool of cream, starch, and hemoglobin. My loving mother, the person who brought me into this world, the person that brought me so much pleasure, caused my worst memory. It was this day that the world lost a great bowler.

Sobbingly Yours,

HCJ

Haircare Joe is Executive Director for “World Peace Through Pottery Foundation” and has a penchant for buggery.

Have a great Thanksgiving Celebration everyone, and see ya all on Monday…CHEERS!!