I awoke this morning and it was 14 degrees outside. Just a few days ago it was 64 degrees. This is unacceptable. A couple of years ago this would not have bothered me. I was younger, and was carrying an extra sixty pounds of insulation on my body. But now I am lighter, older, and colder…much colder. I am in fact, freezing what’s left of my ass off.The worse thing is that it will get colder in Ohio. I am not talking Nome, Alaska or Fargo, North Dakota cold, but pretty damn cold. It will get down to the 0 to -10 degree range at some point. For the first time in my life, this frightens me. I do not like the cold any more.
Don’t get me wrong, I like a good winter storm that blankets the ground with 15 inches of snow, but it would be nice if the temp didn’t get below the 28-30 degree range…cold enough to snow, but not so cold that my boys would shrivel up and become a pair of testi-cicles. If I hear clanking noises emanating from my boxers, then it’s too damn cold. Mother Nature can be such a cruel mistress.
Of course, along with the cold temperatures, the wind is blowing. In the summer, when it is 95 degrees with humidity to match, we can’t get a breeze to save our ass here in the Buckeye State (unless there’s a tornado), but when it gets below thirty it becomes Gale City around here. It is though God is doing wind tunnel experiments and I am a “volunteer”. Brrrrrrrrrrrr.
You know exactly how cold it is? It is so freakin’ cold that I would gladly accept a ticket to watch Ohio State play Florida in the National Championship football game. I can stand either team, but a trip to Glendale, Arizona sounds pretty good right now. I am not a happy man.
The big Miracle Healing Broadcast is tonight at 10 PM (EST). Pastor Parsley, I beg of you. Don’t worry about my soul, just pray that there is either some 50 degree weather or an electric blanket in my very near future. Cheers…
36 comments:
I spent more years than I would like to remember in Minnesota and Syracuse, and I had moved there from California no less. I learned some days a pair of thick wool socks are the best friends you've got. I am fanatic about having the right clothes for cold weather but I don't know what I am going to do with all my nanook of the north gear here in London. The umbrella is the key here.
Minnesota? Syracuse? You are the picture of courage. Maybe I'll get back to old self, maybe the 50 degree shift has just been too quick.
It was 12° when I went to water the chickens this morning -- so cold even the water in their HEATED water dish had a skim of ice on it! Now that's cold!
Some people -- I won't mention names (Janna) actually like the cold. Brrr to them!
Even with the snow, I just cannot get into the Christmas spirit this year -- I'm much more bah humbug. Is it too early to say "I'm ready for spring!" ???
Chin up ol'boy. How about we have one really good blizzard and then wish for Spring....?
It was 65 here yesterday.
My wife and I drove to Palm Springs where it was 80.
That's right...I basically just told you to lick my balls cold face without actually saying lick my balls cold face. ;)
Steve~
And you did it so well...No shut the hell up and go kill that interloping cat.
Blizzard? Aw hell no.
I live out in the boonies, remember? A blizzard would certainly mean a power outtage, and so far (knock wood) we've been kept online so far this winter.
Nothing sucks more than no electricity in the winter. Okay, maybe no electricity with 110% humidity in the summer. Hell, I want 365 24/7 climate control, who am I kidding...
Okay, I'm gonna go knock some more wood...
:)
I feel your pain...it's coming here too! I hate the cold, espcially when I have to walk my dog at 5AM! Takes me an hour to get dressed to do it! LOL
Peace
Okay a blizzard with no loss of power. I can handle that, but I do want at least one HUGE snow this year.
Yeah that sucks odat. I saw a lady walking her dog this morning and it gave me the chills. Cheers...
Yeah, I remember those infamous midwest winters where the cold would freeze your bones but the wind was akin to being slapped by a sheet of razorblades. I can't WAIT to get a taste of that again next week.
I wondered what you were whinging about...14 degrees is not cold, I though.
But then the penny dropped...fahrenheit....aaaagh...
-10 celsius...man that IS cold...sometimes it gets that cold here in winter but only for a spell then it warms up to 0C again.
Long johns, wolly socks, muffler...yep...just write off the sex for a while longer coz nobody will want to shag a llama.
Allie...Do not come. Stay far away. It is cold. You have been warned.
LOL....Very Good Wendz. But I am not so sure, I have seen some pretty sexy llamas!!
Matt- fork over $1200 (the price of my plane tickets) and I'll stay home.
;)
Enjoy your flight my friend.
Okay, I guess 15° ABOVE zero F does sound a LITTLE better than -10° C
not by much, though, Frenchie!
;)
According to the annoying little weather poptart that came with my updated Firefox, we're up to 17°F now -- whoooo hooo Heat Wave!
(remember that scene in Muppet Christmas Carol when all the rats sing Heat Wave? Ha. Nothing like muppet rats in tropical shirts to make you smile!)
:)
I hate the Muppets. I would like to fry up Miss Piggy and introduce her to some mayo, tomato, and lettuce. We are up to a balmy 22F.
Matt-Man: I'll make you a deal -- you get the tickets to the game (hubby is an OSU grad and a native of Medina County), and I'll give you a place to stay. Believe me, the weather here is HEAVENLY.
I'll get right on that songbird. I mean I'm sure that the tickets are widely available and quite inexpensive, and thanks. I am sure it is nice out there. Much better than the weather in Medina County. I'm down by Dayton.
Cookie monster is my favorite. Cookies while reading Flowers for Algernon makes for a wonderful time spent in the cozy living room warmed by a cracklin' fire.
OMG....Too funny. Flowers for Algernon, what a hoot!!
If only you could send some of that cold my way and I could send some of this heat to you. I hope the weather there improves soon; or if it doesn't, that you would find a way to feel cozier.
Thanks Lizza, and I am glad that you are safe. Ahhhh, it's only gonna get colder. I am sure I'll mudlle through it somehow.
I don't like cold, either. I can handle cold if there is fun winter sport involved, and if there are hot drinks readily available afterward. (Alcholic or not, as long as they're hot I don't care!) I am turning into a Seattle wuss though. I think high 30s is cold now.
Blizzards are only acceptable if they don't involve power going out. Our power goes out if the wind blows, and being cold and having no computer, TV, or lights to make it all better is the worst.
No Power, No Problem as long as cheese is available. I would love it if we were in the high 30s. It's 24 out with a 15-20 mph wind. Ick.
Well, aren't you going all Holly Jolly on us????
I'm gone 3 hours, and come back to read comments and you've gone GREEN with envy that I have a Christmas-themed template!
Ho Ho Ho
Mo
I like to spread the joy of Christmas with all. If that means going a little green, so be it. It is all about my selflessness and love for all mankind. Well that and I was bored with the gray.
Laura- sometimes I'd swear we live in the same neighborhood. Our power also goes out when the wind blows.
I'm also a Seattle wuss. I freeze if it drops below 30 and I'm miserable if it gets above 75. LOL
The green is nice... but the purple is a little hard to read... Not that I'm complaining. ;)
Y'know, Allie...According to you, I should have done this or I should have done that. Cant you accept me just as I am. Why the hate? Why the hate, indeed.
There some white text for you. The things I do for you.
Yeah, you know, making the text on your blog easier to read might not actually be in my best interest as a healthy human being. Make it illegible again, please.
LOL....Cheeky Monkey. Watch it or I will convert all text to wingdings!!
*goggling* Uiiii! The green bagwine looks pretty festive...
Sorry ´bout your shriveling balls... EEEEEEH shrinking boys. Is there any possibility to heat up WIR (like mulled wine)? It might help you... and them =)
Is this a festive green? Or a frog green? The beginning of a plan for improved Franco-American relations?
Oh that jumping wine bottle is so hyper...cool!
:O)
Hey Sanni, I appreciate your concern for my boys. If I were to heat up some WIR, it would probably result in a kitchen fire of biblical proportions.
Oh Wendz, it is definitely a Christmas green. I would never refer to the French as frogs. Even though Paris is the most seizable city, and the trees that line the Champs Elysee are there to provide shade for German soldiers, I would never use the term "frog". ; )
Oh... that´s not so good, huh?
Back to the idea "electric blanket" =)
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