Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Penis Pumps and Candle Wax


Just like the White House, BR is maintaining its festive yuletide mood. Bagwine Kringle is taking wish requests. My financial consultant and lifelong friend Haircare Joe is cooking up a Christmas promotion, which may or may not come to fruition (but it’s the thought that counts). And of course, the punch bowl is filled with a copious amount of libation. We are going to run the Good Ship Bagwine for 19 more days on the fuel of happiness.

Speaking of happiness, I received some in the mail yesterday. No, it wasn’t a mail order bride from the Ukraine, or a Swedish made Penis Enlarger, it was a box containing candles from the Wren’s Nest Gift Shop in Dowagiac, Michigan. I received an English Toffee candle beautifully contained and a few Cinnaberry tea candles. If you like scented candles these are both fantastic scents for the holidays. Oh sure, I wish I had a Bacon Scented candle, but seriously these are great.

I received the candles from Mo of “It’s a Blog Eat Blog World”. He hosted a short story competition back in October. Entrants had to write a scary Halloween story of 500 words or less. The winner, as voted by the blogosphere, would receive a candle. Due to my ability to shamelessly self-promote and beg folks to vote for me, I won.

The Mo-Man came through with more goods than he promised. Now, that is customer service, which these days seem to be an archaic idea. My friend Adav, in fact, posted about that today. Anyway, I want to give a big shout out of thanks to Mo…THANKS

Please visit Mo’s Most Excellent Gift Shop Here: The Wren’s Nest

I do have an unrelated item to bring up. Early this morning, I had an odd dream. I was in a motor home and a half naked Nicolette Sheridan was making me an olive loaf sandwich on white with mayo. WTF?

I will get back to you on the promo as events develop, in the meantime,
Cheers…

PS...I'll Post a Picture Later IF Blogger FIXES the damn Problem.



27 comments:

Mo and The Purries said...

Thanks for the shout out & the linkie!

A Bacon scented candle, eh?
I don't know whether to be intrigued or repulsed...

Glad they arrived safely! Sorry for the delay, but I wanted to get ya quality merchandise!

Ho Ho Ho
mo

ps
Nicolette Sheridan knows from olive loaf? On white bread with mayo? Even I am turned on by this one!

Anonymous said...

Olive loaf sandwich? The thought makes me want to pinch a loaf. Yuk!!

Schmoop said...

Dontcha dare apologize. Schmoop loves em. She will probably be throwing you some business after the first of the year. I was turned on as well because olive loaf is sooooo sexy.

Schmoop said...

Joe you blasphemer!! Olive Loaf is fantastic...repent!!

adav_11 said...

Congrats Matt. I, sadly, didn't see the story but I agree olive loaf is fatastic. Thanks for the shout out and watch yourself around those postal workers.

Schmoop said...

Thanks Adav. You didnt miss much trust me. I knew I could count on some olive loaf love from ya, and I am free of any trips to the PO in the near future.

Steven said...

I was with you on the sandwich...

But Nicolette Sheridan?

Oh Matt....you poor confused Matt... ;)

Steve~

Schmoop said...

That's the odd thing. I find her to resemble a mishapen, aging wax figurine. But yeah, baby, bring on the olive loaf. Cheers Steve...

y.Wendy.y said...

I wasn't going to ask what olive loaf is...no way...such ignorance...so I googled it and came up with this disgusting photo...oh Matt-man...you EAT that stuff?

It looks like one of the histology slides I used to analyse in the med. lab......cancer..blood cells...aaagh....!

And that pink meaty stuff...ugh! Do you know what they put in that? Do you?

Come on over sweet pea..I'll show you real cold cuts.

Schmoop said...

Ha "histology slide", very good Wendy. I admit that is not a very flattering picture of the stuff, bu ttrust me it's tatsy. But I will take you up on your offer to come over and try real cold cuts, as long as it doesn't involve Head Cheese or Souse.

Unknown said...

Oh sure, olive loaf is delicious if you like olives ruining perfectly decent luncheon meat.

The candles sound great, by the way. I'll be checking out Mo's site now!

Lizza said...

Olive loaf??? Okay, Wendz's link answered the question. Can you dip it in a martini? :-D

Schmoop said...

I know how you feel about olives Allie. Satan's Dingleberries...so misguided. But yes, the candles are swell.

Yes Lizza, just throw a couple of slices into your martini and voila, you can have your Dirty Martini and Main Course all at once.

y.Wendy.y said...

Poor Lizza - you'll scare her away with that imagery...

I promise I don't eat fromage de tete....it freaks me...

Mo and The Purries said...

mmmm olive loaf mmmmmm

I mean, it's just bologna with sliced pieces of salty goodness in it!!!

2:30 pm == I was FINALLY able to upload a picture to my 10am post!

now, you can add a hot pic of Nicollette Sheridan

I think if you google image her from Knots Landing days (try "knots landing paige" --- there's a pretty good one of her in the good old KL days in a bikini)

Unknown said...

Ahhhhh, too kind: Blogger lets me post a comment...

I´ve been waiting so long that I´m hungry enough to try the Olive loaf in combination with the tete de moine Wendz mentioned (Sorry Wendz, I like it anyway)... but pleeeeeeease, not served by Nicolette Sheridan =)

Schmoop said...

Dont worry Wendz, Lizza is strong, and the head cheese freaks me out as well.

Mo, Damn straight Olive Loaf rocks, but not a big fan of Mizz Sheridan. I will attempt to post a White House Christmas card.

Dont worry Sanni, only my dream had Nicolette in it. I will maintain this site as a Sheridan Free Zone.

Mo and The Purries said...

.... I just figured... it WAS your dream...
damnation, that's some body pile in the oval office.
I can't tell = is it an orgy or a body parts pile??? I guess with Bushy in charge, it's an orgy of carnage...

I'm only surprised that Cheney isn't holding a shootin' rifle!

Schmoop said...

Definitely an orgy of carnage. Dead Eye Dick has his gun buried in Dubya's back. You just cant see it.

y.Wendy.y said...

Hah your piccies up...what can I say? EW!!! Bad boy.

Schmoop said...

Just a typical day for our "beloved" President!!

C... said...

That sounds like a trailer trash dream with undertones of classiness.

Odat said...

Thanks for the laugh....made me cough tho...ya know the head cold...but I just wanted to say I like the green! very festive...that wasn't there yesterday was it? or is it the cold meds i'm taking?
Peace
(p.s. I fed and touched your monkey today).

Janna said...

Like olive loaf, like white bread, HATE mayo, REALLY HATE head cheese.
And somehow I've lived 36 years without knowing who the hell Nicolette Sheridan is...
???

Cheesy said...

"and watch yourself around those postal workers."

Damn smart comment!!!

Schmoop said...

C: It's almost a Jerry Springer type dream!!

Janna: Mustard goes well with olive loaf as well, and as far NS, you're not missing anything.

Odat: I am so sorry about your cold. Green? It's always been green. ; ) My monkey loves you.

Cheesy: I know that there is at least one postal worker who I would love to be attacked by. ; )

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