Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I Have a Foreign(er) Object in My Head

I find it odd how certain songs pop into one’s head. I mean it happens to me quite often. I t doesn’t have to be because of anything. Too often it is some obscure number, or even a song that I just hate. More often than not the tune will swirl through the labyrinth of my grey matter for hours upon end, but as the trite saying goes, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” Of course, if you don’t like lemonade you’re pretty much hosed, but I digress.

When a song pops into my head and takes longer to leave than it does to put James Brown and Anna Nicole Smith six feet under, I no longer get annoyed. I have a good time by changing the lyrics. For instance, yesterday, the old Foreigner song, “Hot Blooded” wormed its way into my mind. Hated the song many moons ago, and still hate it, but I worked with it. I thought perhaps it could make a good advertising jingle such as:

Hot Pockets, Nuke em’ and see
Burn your tongue on the scalding hot cheese
C’mon baby give the sausage a chance
Try Hot Pockets, Try Hot Pockets


Or, it could describe a medicinal drink:

Hot Toddys, Drink em’ and see
How your sore throat will soon be relieved
C’mon baby, give warm whiskey a chance
Drink Hot Toddys, Drink Hot Toddys.


Of course sometimes a song worm can be serendipitous. I remember having “Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead” in my head the day that Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi got roasted, which of course led to this ditty:

Ding Dong Zarqawi’s Dead

A Bomb Exploded, On His Head
Ding Dong al-Zarqawi’s Dead

He Can’t Terrorize
Because He Has Been Vaporized
Ding Dong al-Zarqawi’s Dead

Baked Like An Ore-Ida
It’s tough to rhyme, with al-Qa’ida
Ding Dong al-Zarqawi’s Dead

So folks, next time an annoying tune gets lodged in your cerebral cortex, just have a good time with it. And just to give some practice I leave you with this:

Sky Rockets in flight, Afternoon Delight…Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh…Afternoon Delight


Cheers!!

17 comments:

Unknown said...

Way to sublimate, my dear!! Awesome! I'm definitely going to have to try that trick next time I get Tainted Love lodged in my cerebral cortex... lol

Liz Hill said...

Hmmm funny--I am hearing Rex Smith singing *You take my breath away--woh oh oh oh*

Hehehe

Steven said...

I don't get bad songs in my head...why? Because I have taste.

See, this is the pro...my humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps...SHIT!!! ;)

Steve~

Schmoop said...

Allie: Bless me baby Sainted Love, Heal me baby Sainted Love.

TB the Rex Smith thing is a little below the belt, but you knew that.

Steve how can someone who makes plaster models of his own phallus have taste?

Desert Songbird said...

You are a cruel and sadistic man, you know that?...um....Me likey!

Muwahahahahahaha!

Later, babe!

Schmoop said...

Spank Spank Songbird!!

jillie said...

You know I've got foreigner music stuck in my head. Do you know HOW long it's taken me to get it out of my head???

LMAO ;o)

Schmoop said...

Glad I could help Jillie..er...what?

none said...

The giligans island theme is my personal brain nemesis.

y.Wendy.y said...

Too lazy to scroll down to the other comment box, where this comment belongs...I know I know...awful..so slap me.

If you're eating beans everyday, won't you be very farty? What are you doing to address that?

Nice song btw. You have such panache with words, darlin'

Schmoop said...

Sorry to hear that the sounds of The Maynards fill your brain Hammer.

Wendz, they dont have that much of an effect on me oddly enough. And thanks for the kudos.

Cheesy said...

I agree with Hammer... "there once was a mighty sailin' man" got one of my coworkers a FU text not too long ago,, he was singing it in the office ,, needless to say..all day I heard that dreadful ditty in my head lol....

Lizza said...

Haha, neat trick! I'm going to have to do that, especially now that you got "Afternoon Delight" running through my mind, and I don't like that song. Grrr....

May your dreams be filled with loosemeat sandwiches, bacon, steak, and Spam!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

See what happens when you go even 12 hours without meat????

before we know it you will be making up words to the Mickey Mouse theme... and then what... words to the theme from Hawaii 5-0????

Travis Cody said...

Snarf.

Oh shit. You had to say Wizard of Oz. Now I've got the damn Wicked Witch theme in my head. Not the Munchkin Ding Dong song...

The Wicked Witch on her broom song.

No good can come of this. It'll go from here to the Tigger song to Sugar Sugar by the Archies....

And see, there it is. Oy.

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: I cant believe that you typed FU...It is so unlike you.

Lizza: It is indeed a horrid song. I dreamed last night that I was inside a cheeseburger and was eating my way out.

Bond: Hawaii 5-0? I may attempt to put words to that. I do like a challenge.

Travis: Sugar Sugar is a fine example of what's right with America. The Archies ROCKED.

Cheesy said...

Is it so unlike me eh?? Well FU