Well folks I am getting ready to hop aboard a big YELLOW plane and fly to the Bahamas. I have been requested to donate some of my DNA to determine if my claim of being the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby is accurate. The picture you see was taken two and a half hours prior to our six hour long carnal melee which produced Dannilynn.The picture as well as the subsequent video of the raucous sex-fest was taken by my friend Janna. Being the gentleman that I am, I
Until Later, Cheers!!
UPDATE 2:41 P.M.: RATS!! Well DNA tests on the Matt-Man and Dannilynn confirm with 99.99% certainty that I am NOT the father of Anna’s baby. Tests did confirm however that in all likelihood I was the one who infected Anna Nicole Smith with nongonococcal urethritis. I am crushed, but it’s good to know why I have been having somewhat painful urinations. Until tomorrow…Cheers!!
32 comments:
omg HA too funny!
I though you might like it Cheesy!!
Too funny, get in line!
Hell TK, I had to get in line THAT night!! Cheers...
The baby looks like you too!!! OMG!
(P.S. Ministrone means monkey in Italian!)
Peace
She looks like she was having a good time already!
Oh you nasty, nasty man. ;-)
I am just spreadin' the love Odat and trying to forge a new generation of Playboy Bunnies.
Lizza, all I said to her was, "Does this look infected?" and she was all over me from that point on.
Oh, Matty me boy, you make me smile! You are TOO cute!
HA...Why thank ya Songbird. Here's a big old smooch fer ya. : *
Good luck, Matt-Man! Can't wait to see the pics of you with your darling baby, Danielynn. Are you going to change her name to Mattalynn? That would be the best thing, I think.
Wow...
She must have been REALLY drunk. ;)
Steve~
Ooooooooooooh, how I missed this...
*LOL*
I´m so glad to be back in the blogosphere - after all our "visitor leftovers" are gone.
So please tell me how much you had to "ask" Jenna for not releasing the juicy video... I hope to "ask" her a bit more to show it =)
Okay the COMMENTS are damn funny!!
Did it bother you that she was taller than you?
OK, you may have fooled all the rest, but you can NOT fool me Matt. I have seen that picture and know darn well the head was photo-shopped onto the body.
Do you take me for a fool?
That is a picture taken at a party a number of years ago and I will prove that you are there with Phyliss Diller and NOT ANS...How dare you put Anna's head on Phyliss' body!
hahaha phyliss diller thats like knocking the dust off the fireplace till me it aint so Matt!!
You know, Matt, there is the matter of our Bagwine Lovechild to settle as well. You're such an unscrupulous whore.
Why does the song "Climb every mountain" pop into my head when I see you with Anna Nicole?
Cheers to working in YELLOW into your babydaddy post!
As you can see by the update Laura it is not to be. But thanks for well wishes.
Steve: I was born in the year of the snake...I am a charmer.
Sanni: Welcome Back to the fold. I missed ya. BTW the terms of agreement will remain undisclosed.
TB: She's taller than me. She's standing on Lindsay Lohan who was passed out on the floor.
Bond: You're such a jealous man. You tried this once before when I posted my picture of Soledad O'Brien and I playing strip poker.
Roger: Dont listen to Bond. He is merely a man jealous of my luck with the ladies.
Allie: Why would you air our dirty laundry on my site. We could have been a bit more dignified and done it on the Maury Povich show. By the way, get yourself checked for nongonococcal urethritis.
Mo: I certainly scaled the peaks of Mt. Anna. Matt-Man: Mountain Mounter.
Been I have uncovered
Darnation and pshaw... and that was not me making the Soledad comments and I will defend honor to my death or such (gee I almost typed 'suck'...humm that might have been funnier)
I am quite wary of you my friend. Behind that cute little pre-pubescent smile on your picture lurks evil Mr. Bond...Pure Evil.
As if there was EVER any doubt as to how Bond's mind works, his post today sure explains a lot, don'tcha think Matty me boy?
YOU on the other hand - we KNOW how to deal with likes of you, baby...
C'mon down for spring training - I'm sure there'd be lots of "mountain" climbing to be had!
Indeed Songbird, his twisted evil traits slip out once in awhile. We could get our freak on, on Camelback Mountain. btw, I was having trouble trying to post on your site...My personality type was a "Revoluionary" Cheers...
That stunned, disbelieving face of yours is too too funny in that context! Or were you feeling the urnary burn as the flash went off?
Yes I was Wendz, and all along I thought that the burning sensation was a flame of lust and passion. Cheers!!
I searched for manic post then realised this was it! Sneaky.
You two look so happy together!
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah!!
In solidarity with your disappointment, I am eschewing meat this evening and eating pasta for dinner.
It doesn't count that I had bacon and sausage for breakfast, right??
Too bad Matt-man! Enjoy the soup:)
Your check bounced, so I may just have to release that video after all...
Anyone who would like to offer an opening bid of $1,000,000 can contact me via e-mail...
Come see my fat sister
lol is that you??? way to go man! I wanted to thank you for dropping by my blog and leaving your wishes too.:)
Claire: Thanks for stopping and I try to be manic everyday. And yes, for a brief moment in time we were the happiest people on Earth. ; )
Travis: You had bacon AND sausage!!? Oh how I loathe you.
Eyechan: Thanks dude. I hope all is well on the Ginza.
Janna: I just need a few extra days. I am going to send a courier up to you with cash. If a man named Raoul knocks on your door. That's him.
TK: That was kinda rude...I liked it!! Cheers...
Gerry: Yep, this is me. Thans for stopping by here as well. Cheers!!
In my opinion you have misled.
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