Diplomatic Buffoonery

I arrived in D.C. last Thursday at about 1:20 p.m. and high tailed it to the airport exit. I had forgotten how good of a buzz one can get from a cigarette after not being able to smoke for three and a half hours. The flight was pretty smooth but my nerves needed some tar and nicotine right away.

The cab ride from the airport to the hotel was much more frightening than the flight. The driver liked to apply the brakes only when the license plate of the car ahead of him was legible to someone with the eyesight of Ray Charles. The driver’s apparent lack of attention was further compounded by one of my brother’s need to make conversation with the driver. He let the cabbie know that we were there for our nephew’s wedding, that we were from Ohio, and to say, “Nice city ya got.” I was waiting for him to give the driver our home addresses so the driver could phone a buddy in Ohio and said buddy could break into our homes, delighting in the fact that we were hundreds of miles away.

After we checked in, the four of us (me, two brothers, and a sister-in-law) took a cab downtown to have lunch, as well as some drinks, at Capitol City Brewing Company. The beer was cold and the food was good. Of course, my one brother and I would have to go outside to smoke, and naturally each sidewalk passer-by was greeted with, “How ya doin’ today? We are in from Ohio for our nephew’s wedding. Nice city ya got.” Ah yes, my brother, the Ambassador.

After lunch we headed to the Union Station for guess what? That’s Right!!...More Drinks. It was quite the happenin’ locale. My brother had a great time standing outside letting all of the local homeless folks what a “nice city ya got.” For some reason I don’t think they were buying it.

We then went back to our hotel. The one brother and his wife later went to a nice restaurant while The Ambassador and I had a few drinks in the hotel bar. I met some nice folks especially a guy named Douglas and his wife, but the night was getting late and I was fading by the fourth Seven and Seven, so off to bed I went. Day one inside of the Beltway was over but I was looking forward to more diplomatic fun with the Ambassador on Friday morning.

Until the next installment, (and I promise, they’ll be funnier) Cheers!!