Hot Diggity Damn!! I am having dinner with President Bush tonight. It’s the first time we will be getting together since the infamous dinner party. (Which if you are one of the few who are unfamiliar with it, you can click HERE to read about it.) Bush is going to be speaking in Tipp City, Ohio at Tippecanoe High School tomorrow. Tipp City is about 35 minutes west of here, so he is going to arrive here tonight in secrecy…ooops…have dinner with me, and stay all night at the Bagwine digs with Schmoop and me. Ahhh, it will be like old times, Matt-Man and Dubya…trippin’ the light fantastic.I just got off of the phone with him a little while ago. I don’t know who was more excited, him or I? I just happen to have a transcript of the conversation…
Dubya: Yo, Matt-Man mi amigo…G-Dub here, what’s up in your part of the world?
Matt: Holy Moly!! Not much Dubya, long time, no see. What’s going on?
Dubya: Well, I’m gonna be speakin’ at Tippuhganoo High School tomorrow and thought I could swing by your neck of the woods tonight. Y’know, we could throw some groceries down our throats and maybe kick it a little. What say you, Bagman?
Matt: Cool. Tippecanoe High School, eh? Reminds ya of “Tippecanoe and Tyler Too” doesn’t it?
Dubya: Of what?
Matt: William Henry Harrison’s slogan…
Dubya: Who is that? Is he running for something in ’08? Or are you fucking with me? Man, that’s why I like you…You’re always messin’ with my head…Ouch damn, I—
Matt: Are you alright Dubya? What hap—
Dubya: Some bitch…Yo Jenna, put your damn Wild Turkey down and go get yer daddy a band-aid…er…scratch that, get me a dish towel and some bailin’ wharr. Yo Matt-Man got any good Grecian joints there?
Matt: Well, there’s thi--
Dubya: I got a hankerin’ for some Slovakia, ardychokes, and some box-lava. Hell, I might even get a nice rack of ham. And don’t ferget Matty-Boy, I’m a Floozo for Ouzo!! Oooooooopah!!....
Matt: Fine sir, I’ll take to you a place that is run by a friend of mi--
Dubya: Aw thanks Jenna, now bring me that bottle on my desk and then go brush your teeth…What’s the joint called pardner?
Matt: A friend of mine runs it…It’s called Linardos’
Dubya: Linardos? That sounds kinda gay to me. He’s not gay is he? You know how some of those Grecians can be…
Matt: Not to my knowled—
Dubya: I dont trust no ouzo drinkin’ homo…uh, hold on…Top notch, heckuva job…here, have a Medal of Freedom. Sorry ‘bout that Matt-Man, but the head of campus security for Virginia Tech University just popped in.
Matt: Okie Dokie Dubya…Sounds good, and I am sure Schmoop will be “excited” as well.
Dubya: Tell her, that I’ll make sure not to pee on the seat this go ‘round. Okay gotta run Matt-Man. I can’t tell you the exact time I’ll be there, but my advance team will be there two hours and seven minutes before me. Sorry to leave you in the dark amigo, but you know…security issues.
Matt: That’s fine, I’ll see ya tonight Dubya.
Dubya: Later muchacho…Hi-Ho Condiiiiiiiii away!!!
I'll have a full report of our Presenditial shenanigans tomorrow folks....Cheers!!
18 comments:
Wow, that is big news. But who is Dubya??
Badway
Oh c'mon Nick...He's Dick Cheney's secretary for Chrissakes!!
Lord.
God.
Almighty.
Hey, y'all! Stay clear of Springfield, Ohio tonight!!!!! Put away the women and children, and lock away the guns and liquor!!!!
ut oh.....Looks like trouble in Ohio!
btw, that's a very becoming pic..and he kinda looks familiar!
Peace
ROTFLMAO - Matt - classic!!
I'll try my best to keep him in line Songbird, but you know what happenened the last time he came to town!!
Odat: When Dubya is sporting lederhosen, he is to die for...okay maybe that was an unfortunate phrase to use. Cheers!!
Angell: Thanks alot!! Stop by tomorrow and hoipefully you will find our night out on the town as funny. Cheers and thanks for stopping.
Thank God I don't live anywhere Tipp City Ohio... I'd have to leave the county...
I think I'd rather be dining with my dead beat ex-husband... LOL
It'll be alright Dixiechick...The dark cloud over West Central Ohio will dissipate quickly. Thanks for stopping by and Cheers!!
Now that should be one hell of an interesting dinner. Make sure you tell us what the Bush reveals!
Unless he swears me to secrecy Lizza, I'll make sure to give you the low down. Cheers!!
Hi-Ho Condiiiiii away!!!!
almost made me pee
you're evil and we love ya
(that's to you Matty, not Dubya. he's just evil)
Posts like this are quickly turning you into one of my favorite reads. Ironically, I imagine dubya would be entertaining as hell to drink and party with, then again, so is my buddy Paul, but he is in jail
"Make sure you tell us what the Bush reveals! "
LOLOLOLOL fuckinL OMG--I can't breathe----
LOL -- big old groan on the campus security dig. Damn I love ya. ;)
As a matter of national security, please have Jenna call me so we can discuss certain, ummm, domestic situations which need to be ...ummmm explored in depth... yeah that's it
Mo: I hope I dont get fired for saying "Hi-HO!!
I appreciate that Pablo and I'll try to maintain the quality, in the meantime I'll make a cake with a file in it for your buddy.
I'll lay it all out there TB, now catch your breath.
Allie: I struggled with whether I should have written that, but then I said to myself, "What the hell. I'm Matt-Man Bitch!"
Bond: I have lost all respect for you, you Bush snatcher you.
Like you ever had respect for me .... other then as an elder in the Mattlic Church that is...
Smooch
OOPS...I am not sure I am supposed to Smooch you
bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa
Keep your tongue to yourself Bond, especially after you've been with Jenna!!
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