President Bush and I had a relatively calm evening, but there were a few interesting moments. He started things off with a big surprise. At 5:30 p.m. the phone rang and it was Dubya. He said, Yo Matt-Man, I’ll be down in two shakes.” And then he hung up. I was wondering what he meant by he’d be “down”. I then turned around and saw some dude in a Spider-Man suit hanging by a rope outside of my window. The guy started waving and then said, “Pull me in amigo before I put you in a web of mass destruction, hehehehe.” It was Dubya. I opened the window, pulled him in, and got the rope off of him. “Ooooooweeeeee that was fun. Now get me a beer Matt-Man, I’m starved!!”When I came back with his beer, he was still in his suit climbing on the furniture and dancing around with moves that appeared to be a cross between a novice ninja on crack and Napoleon Dynamite’s Happy Hands Club skills. I gave him his beer and he proceeded to drink it but it ran all down his face and chest. I told him that he might want to take off his Spidey mask before his next beer. He replied, “Good tip Matt-Man. You’re one smart varmint.” I then asked him what was up with the Spider-Man suit, and the conversation went like this…
Matt: George, why do you have a Spider-Man suit on?
Dubya: Because it’s tress chick and I admire Peter Piper.
Matt: Peter Piper?
Dubya: C’mon Matt-Man, Peter Piper!! You know, Spider-Man’s ultra ego. Sheesh.
Matt: Spidey’s alter ego is Peter PARKER.
Dubya: No shit? Then who the hell is Peter Piper?
Matt: Peter Piper picks pickled peppers.
Dubya: Ahhhh migrant worker…funny name fer a Meh-hee-can…
Matt: Dubya he’s a…
Dubya: …tell him not to worry Matt-Man, he’s welcome in our country as long as I’m the Gringo-in-Chief , baby….Boo Yah!! Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can…
After the paralyzing disbelief removed itself from my face I went into the kitchen and fetched President Spidey another beer, and poured myself a HUGE glass of Wild Irish Rose. Oh there’s more to our night out, but those details will have to wait until later today.
Until this afternoon, Cheers!!
26 comments:
You do know you are a complete idiot, right?
LOL...I dont know which is funnier. What you said, or the fact that you actually commented. Just for that you may very well appear in the next installment!!
;-D
Woo Hoo...The R-Man is Back!!
OMG - is that THE Schmoop?! Wow! You really must have triggered something to get her to comment, Matty me boy!
No not really ..just about to pull out of Michigan and hit the open road in a few more days! I don't know when I will be able to get back online again ..hopefully soon ..just wanted to give Matt-man thanks for all those great laughs!!! Stay crazy Matt!
Roger-n-out
What a freakin scary thought of Bush in a Spider Man suit... ;-)
Yes Songbird it is THE Schmoop...I cant believe that Dubya in a Spidey outfit triggered her post. I have been much more idiotic at times...I think? Cheers!!
10-4 Roger. Glad you stopped by before your move. Ladies and Gentlemen, give Roger a round of applause for this is a man that is moving to Idaho...On Purpose, No Less!!
I guess it is a bit of a macbre thought. If webs were the only things that he had at his disposal, this would be a better world. Cheers!!
Now Matt-Man, I know for a fact that Dubya is a Batman freak.. he loves the WMD that he carries around in his utility belt...
Man if Schmoop is commenting, you must have done something totally "f-ed" up....Did you leave her alone in the living room with Dubperman?
Maybe Roger likes potatoes?
OMG...Dubya needs to lay off the sauce. How much of that WIR are you giving him Matt??
You're a funny man and that's why I keep on coming back for more ;o)
Vin my good man. Isnt obvious that Schmoop is hiding her love for me behind a facade of disdain for me? Secondly, I dont think ANYONE can love potatoes THAT much.
Jillie, Dubya needs to blow off a little steam once in awhile. And I am glad you find me funny, but I was hoping that you kept coming back because you find me undeniably HOT. Cheers!!
Matt - LOVING this. You are a total nut job and I can only imagine that you are creating these masterpieces from somewhere in a padded cell with locked doors - hey, r u next door to me????
Thanks Angell. I used to be next door to ya but I escaped. I was going to bust you out with me but I--Oh look...something shiny!!
Thank GOD for Wild Irish Rose, eh Matt-man?
Idiotic - isn't that your middle name?
Bwahahahaha! Kidding, ya know, Matty me boy. Love ya!
hahahaha... I truly don't know where to begin, other than to ask whether or not Dub's package was as big in the Spidey suit as it was in the flight suit. You know you took a gander. Admit it.
Lisa you just uttered the phrase with which I could not survive life without. WIR: The Moron Neutralizer...Cheers!!
Songbird: Kidding or not, for that remark I am telling Dubya that you want him to spend the weekend at your house.
Allie: I didnt TAKE a gander as much as it was FORCED upon me. He had his latex Spidey body pressed against my window as much as tight it could. It was, in fact, the first time I ever experienced arachniphobia!!
I like Bush, he is probably the funniest president we've ever had.
Yes Hammer, in that sense it will be a shame to see him go. Cheers...
Okay Songbird I can live with that explanation...I guess!!
Dat Bush looks like he's picking at lice...lol...
BUSH HAS LICE...now THAT would make a good news clipping.
Oh yeah, the HAWTNESS...keeps me coming back for more...
It does...really it does ;o)-
Jillie, I'm sure that you do many things well but lying isnt one of them!! ; ) Cheers...
his "Spidey mask"!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't read on after that!!!
roflmfao!
Peace
HA...I am glad that somebody appreciates the nuances odat. Cheers!!
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