I have been worried all day. My anxiety has been slowly rising and is now higher than Davis Hasselhoff’s blood alcohol concentration. What is the driving force behind my fear, apprehension, and anxiety? President Bush is having Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip over for dinner tonight. I shudder to think of the verbal faux pas’ that will emanate from that wound below our President’s nose. The possibilities are endless.Dubya: You look fabulous tonight your Hine-ASS hehehehe. Doesn’t your Hine-ASS look fabulous Phil? Hehehehe. Hey everybody, check out the Hine-ASS on this one. Damn I’m hungrier than an Ethiopian wiener dog, let’s get some chow.
Okay, so you don’t think that that could transpire, how about this?
Dubya: Yo Liz, what’s that stuff they eat in Scotland? Y’know, that intestine thing stuffed with sow liver and pig farts?
QE II: Haggis?
Dubya: Gesundheit!! Do you know Phil…? Hey did you two get to stop by Yorktown after y’all went to Jamestown. It’s pretty cool. It’s where us and the Frogs kicked Lord Cornwallis’ ass n’shit. Yo Condi, pass the A-1 would ya?
I am sure Dubya probably would have some questions about being a royal since he thinks he’s King.
Dubya: It must be pretty cool to sit in your big ass throne and call for traitors to be beheaded.
QE II: We don’t do that anymore.
Dubya: That’s a shame. I used to do it all the time when I was Governor of Texas. I fried more folks than McDonald’s has fried hamburgers. Or should I say Burger King!? Hey Phil, why aren’t you the King? WTF?
Phillip: It doesn’t work like that.
Dubya: Sounds like you need to grow a set of marbles muchacho. I bet you pee sittin’ down. Hehehehe. Either way, when you’re done, it’s a Royal Flush!! Hehehehe…Yo cue ball, yeah you Kojak, how about pouring me some more sack-ee.
I guess I really need to get my worries under control. I mean it’s not like Dubya is the kind of guy who asked the President of Brazil, “Do you have blacks too?”, or groped the Chancellor of Germany. He’s just not like that…Is he?
Until we meet again, Cheers!!
23 comments:
Matt, this is scary because it's so realistic! It really does boggle the mind to think what the discussions will really be like. I don't think your imagination is too far off the mark. The only hope is for Dubya to remember some of the stuff he must have learned at Yale. He must have learned something right? Maybe something rubbed off from a frat brother? Oh, I didn't mean that kind of thing "rubbed off." Oh well.
It has already begun Laura. I just hear him on the radio saying (OE II present) how she had helped celebrate our Bicentennial in 1776...She could be heard saying, "Oh Dearrrr". Brilliant!!
Just as long as he doesn't throw up in her lap. Sushi-style.
Badway
I'd love to be a fly on that wall :)
Ya never know Nick. Like father like son. Cheers!!
Hammer: Without a doubt...I just dont see Dubya and The Queen, having a normal conversation. Tally Ho!!
This is some stuff for SNL!
Thanks Wreckless and thanks for stopping by. Cheers!!
First time I saw that, I thought he was giving him a favor. Unlucky for him.
As they say Nick, when in Tokyo do like the...um Tokyoans? Or something like that.
I plan to sit right next to Hammer ;)
And yes, I remember Angel Merkel´s face on the picture you´ve posted some time ago. The first time ever I felt a kind of... sympathy... for our Chancellor.
The mix of horror and disbelief on her face was priceless. Dubya makes us all so darn proud Sanni. Cheers!!
God i am ashamed to admit i was born in Texas
"royal flush " GROAN
smooch
It was there I had to take it.
What an interesting dinner that would be...the hignass and the jackass!!!
lol
Jillie i dont think Dubya calling Queen Elizabeth a GILF is necessarily interesting. Cheers!!
So, what we really need to do is make England a colony... maybe marry Condi to one of the princes. I bet that's what Bush has planned. You know, bring everything full circle.... nah.. too many syllables in "colony"
I would give anything to be a fly on the wall at any state dinner or event such as this just to see how our fearless leader embarrasses himself.
Marilyn: Good point. "States" is easier to say than "colony". Cheers...
Allie: I have always wondered what he dreams about. I bet it's not good.
I am beginning to think that just maybe you are Dubya's illegitimate son...
It is all starting to come together
Such a hurtful comment and to think I just wished your Mom a Happy Birthday.
Oh Matt - why don't you just run for president? Seriously? :D
I rather wonder what HRH must say behind closed doors once she retires to her chambers after spending an evening with old Dubya...
I never thought she would utter such foul language!
Angell: Somehow I dont think that my success with the drunken pervert voting bloc could offset my lack of voters within the Christian Right.
Anndi: She would say, "Eee's not right in thee 'ed."
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