This Blog Is Rated "R"

Well it seems that the Motion Picture industry may be giving an “R” rating to movies that depict people smoking. The reason is of course, that if younger people see someone smoking on screen they will of course begin to smoke due to a process known as MSMD or Monkey See, Monkey Do. Yes the Anti-Personal Responsibility Police are bringing force to bear on Hollywood.

How much more restriction do these Nicotine Nazis want?


For instance, imagine that it is Friday night. You just left your place of work where you weren’t allowed to smoke unless you went outside, walked 200 yards away, and lit up next to Crazy Stan The Insane Cardboard Box Dweller. You decide that tonight you are going out to dinner and then watch a movie. You go to the eatery unable to smoke because it disturbs others even though the joint just installed a half-a-million dollar exhaust system. After quickly burning a weed between the over priced dinner tab and the 20 dollar movie tickets, you enter the smoke-free theatre. The PC police have de-Marlboroed the workplace, the restaurants, and movie theatres, but it’s not enough. Now they want the actors on screen to be smoke free. Why? For the Cheeeeldren.

Seeing a thug smoking a cigarette, grandfatherly figure puff on a pipe, or a union boss type sucking a Cuban cigar in a movie undoubtedly glamorizes smoking in the mind of an innocent child. Seeing a character smoke in a movie is much less detrimental to a child than tooth decay and rising cholesterol levels perpetuated by a large Coke, a box of junior mints, and a tub of buttery popcorn. Unbelievable. I mean can you envision Humphrey Bogart piloting the African Queen up the river without an unfiltered Lucky Strike hanging from his lip? Blasphemous I say.
When I was growing up, I guess I was immune from these types of things. Well I guess some media influenced me in certain ways. While watching re-runs of My Three Sons, Fred MacMurray’s pipe smoking didn’t affect me , but the sight of the rack on Robbie’s wife Katie sent me into a year or two of nightly nocturnal emissions, not to mention initiating my Capri pants fetish. Parents should be the influence in the life of their children not some nanny acting group of busy bodies. If the shot of Lindsay Lohan or Joey Matinee Idol doing something “bad” holds more sway over a child than the parent, an R rating isn’t going to fix anything.

Throw out your personal choices folks. No more smoking, no more Big Macs, no more dodge ball. There is a move afoot to turn the next generation into a herd of non-thinking bean poles with no idea of how to throw a red rubber ball. Caution to you all, these ninnies are working to rid this planet of gluttonous smokers, so put down that leg of mutton and extinguish your pipe…You hear me Santa Claus!!?

Lightin’ up and headed out for a Quarter Pounder with Cheese…Cheers!!

Jerry Falwell…In Memorium:

“The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.”

-- Rev Jerry Falwell, Sermon, July 4, 1976