The Final Dial Tone

Today is a very sad day here at the Bagwine abode. No, not because Lindsay Lohan got busted again, in fact that news makes me feel better about my own liver, but rather because we are saying good-bye to a trusted old friend…Our Cordless phone.

This phone has been the vehicle for many a great conversation over several years. While it may look like a relic dating back to the Cold War era, it has been treasured and loved to this day. Oh sure your can see that I have recently had to slide tissue under the handset in order to secure some charge contact, that merely demonstrates my devotion to this piece of technology.

The saddest thing about getting rid of this phone is that it still has one message saved on it. It is that of my mom’s last message that she left on the phone a little over a year ago, before she passed. I’ll miss that, but I have my good memories to see me through. I recall talking to a window salesman and setting up a meeting for a new window installation. He drove around for a half an hour trying to find my house. After a third call from his secretary asking how to get to my house, I told her, “House? I live in an apartment complex.” Good Times.

We have used this phone to call the Trinity Broadcasting Network during their Praise-a-Thon and ask to talk to Paul Crouch, or inquire about whether the amount of money that we send will affect how much salvation we receive. This phone has received its fair share as messages as well. My favorite messages to play were the ones left by brother Marty. He was an artist of the 2 AM Saturday morning, vodka and Red Bull induced message. It would go something like this, “Woo Hoo, Matty!? Are Ya Up? Woo Hoo!!” Ahhh memories.

Alas, this phone has charged its last charge, taken its last message, and made its last obscene phone call. I will go out today and find a phone to take its place, so last night I gave it a worthy farewell. I got up at 2:15 A.M. and dialed a number randomly. I heard a groggy, discombobulated female voice say, “Hello? Hello?” I then said, “He’s Dead” and hung up to the sounds of her screaming, “Oh my God!! Who died? Who is THIS!!?” Hahaha…Nothing like an innocent prank call.

Thanks for helping my friend. I will miss you, but never forget you.

Enjoy your day all, and Cheers!!