I was going to have a big Fourth of July extravaganza post today, but then I thought, why shouldn’t I take the day off as well? I mean it is Independence Day, why not cast the yolk of blogger oppression from my neck and just woop it up? So folks, today there will be no post.Instead, I am going to celebrate my freedom and independence. How you ask? Well to me, freedom means many things. I can celebrate it by jacking off in front of the TV as one of cable news babes reads the news, and then watch my wee-wee go quickly flaccid when a picture of Vice-President Cheney comes on the screen.
I may go over to a friend’s house and celebrate the liberating feeling of emptying my Bladder of Democracy in his backyard while eating his food, drinking his beer, and making a pass at his hot wife after said friend passes out. Ahhhh America. Doing something like that is so much more enjoyable than typing a post.
Instead of sitting here typing a blog entry in the nude as I usually do, I am going to experience the sensation of freedom that only fishing at the local lake can offer. Dave and I are headed out this morning to do just that. Me, Dave, and ticks carrying lyme disease…Can you say liberty?
I was going to talk about how the British attacked the colonists because they thought the Americans had WMDs. Which back in the day stood for Weapons of a Modicum of Destruction but nope, I am just not going to post today at all. I did have a funny thought about Dick Cheney being around back then and telling someone to “Go Thee Now, And Intercourse Thy Self.” But I digress, and remain firm in my non-posting Independence Day.
So folks, that’s all you are getting out of me today. It’s my day to relax, be free, and run down to the corner store to pick up the newest issue of “Barely Legal” magazine. Isn’t America wonderful? Damn straight it is…well other than having a crazy, war-mongering, dullard as our President, but hey, there’s give and take in everything. And if you think about it, it does prove that anyone can become President of this great country.
So folks, no post today, but I do want you all to have a safe and fun-filled Fourth of July. Now if you’ll excuse me I am off to put on my Depends Adult Diaper so I can be fully independent on this great day.
Cheers!!
37 comments:
Well damn, How come no post????
I feel sooooo cheated!
Have a safe one!
Peace
Enjoy yourself, I missed enjoying the post you didn't post.
By the way, technically Bush is absolutely correct in his quote (for once). Something like 60% of US imports come from Canada and Mexico which are technically not overseas. This trend is changing with increased importation from China, which is.
I hate having to defend Bush, you've quite ruined my day.
Happy 4th matt-man! glad you are not posting, enjoy your fishing and ummm yeah, all those other things too, lol!
Happy 4th of July Matt-maniac! I so enjoyed this non post!
Have some fireworks of your own, dear!
"Go thee now and intercourse thyself"
Thank you very much, I think I will! Maybe I'll even see some fireworks!
Happy 4th!
You aren't going to quit blogging are you?
You'll be back?
WOOO - enjoy your day Matt-man, regardless of what you do, enjoy knowing that you are free to do so - until the cops catch ya.
In which case, call Bond for bail. :P
Posting a non-post. You clever little devil.
-N
Odat: Pet the monkey and make yourself feel better. Cheers!!
Boy: Just because you are a loyal subject of the Queen doesnt mean you need to rain on my Independence Day Parade.
Lisa: The fishing didnt pan out too well. We are already back. Enjoy your fireworks and your day. Cheers!!
Julie: Have a good one yourself my fellow Buckeye. Cheers!!
Metalmom: Tell me how that works out for you. I may try it myself!!
Marilyn: I quit blogging months ago. What I am doing now is medically prescribed recreational therapy to deal with my anti-social behavior problems.
Angell: Thanks and dont worry about the cops catching me. After two fifths of Wild Irish Rose I can become invisible...or at least I think I can. Cheers!!
Nat: Ha, Thanks. Have a most excellent day Nat!!
I didn't come to read since there is no post and I'm not commenting.
Enjoy your depends!
Anndi: In that case, I wont respond.
Why don't you start campaigning to become the next President in addition to taking up non-posting?
Happy 4th of July, Matt, and hope the fish bite!
I may do just that. With my background a sex scandal wouldnt be a surprise to the country. The fish werent biting at all, but thanks. Cheers my friend.
If you visit Monday's post, I have uncovered some of my bits...
Ha...Yes I checked it out and cant believe you think my mind would ever be in the gutter. Let's put on our Canadian bikinis and swim to Ireland together . Cheers!!
But I had to do a little raining. Its the law see, we have to annoy as many americans as possible today. Its our civic duty it is... ;-p
And have a great 4th! I hope you get more enjoyment from the dogs than inky did...
I'll apply the required protective lotion on you if you do the same for me.
If only the boy knew that a flag waving squirrel could be just the thing he needs to do his civic duty ;)
Boy: I think the dogs will go down just fine. Enjoy your upcoming Holiday and you Brits could never annoy us as much as our own government. Cheers!!
Anndi: I was rubbing you down with lotion in my mind five minutes ago ; ) Cheers!! And stop with the squirrel threat!!
I'm not really here. You didn't really post, and I'm not really here.
Happy 4th, you crazy and wonderful man.
Well Songbird, I wont acknowledge your wonderful existence then. Cheers and have a great Fourth my friend!!
Happy Fourth, Matt-Man! I enjoyed your non-post. Have fun and avoid too many ticks!
Same to ya Laura, I hope you have good time in the great Norhtwest!! Cheers!!
I'm actually glad you decided not to post today, because I decided not to make blog rounds or comments in my nod to prove to myself that I am not completely addicted to blogging and that I can actually go a whole day without writing a post or reading one.
We are men of strength, you and I.
Happy 4th Matt! I am just back from breaking bread with the family and off to break open the beer =)
That´s the best not-post I didn´t read, you freakin´ genius!
Wishing a very Happy 4th of July to you and yours from me and mine in Germany!
Take care, pyrotechnist ;)*
Travis: That is indeed the best non-comment I havent read all day. Cheers!!
Starrlight: Enjoy the beer. From breaking bread to drinking bread from a bottle. You are a true patriot.
Sanni: Thanks Sanni. I survived the 4th of July unscathed. Cheers!!
What took you so long? Only 5 minutes???
Just keep an eye out for those squirrels...
I move more slowly on Holidays!!
YOu and Dave got naked in the woods again didn't you ;-)
No, the Park Ranger had a keen eye on us.
Ayup me and my red white and blue pasties.
Seriously. I own a pair. Don't ask.
I would love to see your bombs bursting in air. Cheers!!
Go thee and intercourse thyself. LOL!! Good stuff there. This is the longest non-post you've ever written, I wot.
Thanks Allie. If you say it was good then it was. Hope you're doing okay my friend.
that was some non-post there, bud.
That Dubya quote will have me chuckling all day. Sad but true.
Unfortunately it is too true. Cheers My Friend!!
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