Fasten Your Seatbelts, We're Goin' Down...

Well, well, well…Yet another Republican stalwart of “traditional family values” has fallen victim to his love for the culture of the ancient Greeks, or as Dubya would say “love for the ancient Grecians.” Three term Senator Larry Craig (R-ID), was busted for trying to solicit airport bathroom sex from a sexy undercover macho man cop.

The picture to the right shows him with someone named Cowboy Rudy. I don’t now who Rudy is, but he looks like a sextagenerian member of the “Village People”.

If only Sen. Craig had listened to Brownsville Station all those years ago, he would know that “Smokin’ in the Boy’s Room” is against the rules.

I find it ironic that this incident took place in an airport bathroom in Minneapolis of all places. I am sure that as soon as the Minneapolis cop identified himself, Craig’s wanker collapsed quicker than the I-35 West bridge!! Fortunately, this collapse will probably only lead to the death of Senator Craig’s political career, and not the deaths of people headed home from work.

I do understand somewhat why he might have done this; the poor fellow lives in Idaho. I mean there isn’t a whole lot shakin’ in Idaho, so when you get to a big city like Minneapolis you can get caught up in the excitement and sexiness of the big city. I mean, one minute Craig is giving a boring speech to potato farmers in Pocatello and two hours later he can fly off and Poke-a-Fello. Can you blame him? All in favor, say “Eye”.

One thing that truly bothers me about this (other than the Senator’s hypocrisy), is that the Democratic party has given away its hold on sex scandals. As a loyal Democrat, I have always been proud that our scandals have involved salacious sex and the Republican scandals have involved boring money scandals. Our political landscape has been turned upside down and I don’t like it.

Think about it…Our last good Democratic sex scandal involved Clinton. That was 11 or 12 years ago. Hell in the last year or so, the Republicans have had Rep. Mark Foley trying to turn Congressional pages, Sen. David Vitter trying to ‘plug the levees’ in Nawlins’, and now Sen. Larry Craig trying to find a hangar for his jet plane within the confines of a Minneapolis airport bathroom. For shame, for shame. All we Democrats have is Rep. William Jefferson hiding $90,000.00 of payola in his freezer. It leaves me cold .

What have we learned from all of this? We are in definite need of a strong third party. The Republicans and the Democrats are no different from each other. Americans need a choice. I think that if we could have a party that specializes in scandals involving the eating of human flesh, that would grab some headlines…Unless of course Lindsay Lohan gets arrested again and/or if the anniversary of Princess Diana’s death anniversary still gets coverage.

Cheers!!

Note: Bagwine Staff contacted Alberto Gonzales and asked if he actually resigned yesterday. His answer was, “I don’t recall.”