It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiday so clip my nose, bleach my skin, and throw a bedazzled glove on my hand because I have a frickin’ Michael Jackson song stuck in the recesses of my mind. I have been singing “Dirty Diana” all morning. The worst part is that the riff of that song where the lyrics sing out “Dirty Diana” is the only part of the song that I know. Why is this happening? Oh I don’t knoooooow….
Maybe because all of the TV channels are carrying live coverage of Princess Diana’s 50 millionth tribute. She’s been dead 10 years…Did you know that? You didn’t? How could you not, it’s only been promoted all damn summer. Ahhhhhhhhh, my head is going to burst!!
Fine, she was a nice person but she was only a Princess. If we are going to eulogize somebody over and over to the point of eye twitching and stomach ulcers, let’s at least let it be in honor of a King.
I say let’s do over the top commemorations in honor of my late, personal friend, The King of Techno Funk…Rick James. Why you ask? Four words…He’s Rick James, Bitch!! She’s a very kinky girl….the kind you don’t take home to muthaaaaah. Rest in Peace Rick my boy. In your honor, this weekend, I will smoke some crack and kidnap a hooker…“Yo Ho, jump in da car. I’m Matt-Man Bitch!!”
I just checked the news coverage again…Diana is still dead. I feel sorry for Senator Larry Craig. I am sure he and his family are incredibly embarrassed. I mean, in one week he goes from being a member of the Moral Majority to a member of the Oral Majority. Sad.
Poor guy was taken down by one newspaper’s “Witch Hunt, or maybe more appropriately, a “Bitch Hunt”. What has our great country become when one of our governing members can’t have illegal gay sex? I say, if it’s good enough for the Catholic Church it’s good enough for the good ol’ U.S. of A. Can I get an Amen and/or a Praise be to God from the congregation!? Dirty Dianaaaaaaaaa. Ai Yi Yi.
College football started last night and I am jacked up. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’ve always wanted to be a College football cheerleader. Some tell me that that would be gay. (Not there’s anything wrong with that.) Au Contraire…I would be spending sixty minutes every Saturday holding up a hot chick over my head with my horny, eager hand. Boo Yah, muffin’ stuffin’ bay-bay!!
I would have the best seat in the house while lookin’ at one the best seats in the house. I’d never wash my hand…unless of course, she had gotten a yeast infection or her “Always” panty liner became a “Sometimes” panty liner. Hike!!
Well folks, it is time for me to catch up with all of you fine people so I shall end my stream. I hope you all have a lovely Labor Day Weekend. Spend it making fun of all of the horrible acts that appear on The Jerry Lewis Telethon. I’ll be around this weekend at some point so stop on by. One last thing…
Cheers!!
30 comments:
You're a SUPERFREAK!! So kidnap mememe~~ lol Streamin'cheese news o' the week~~~
A lot of people are now calling Sen. Larry Craig a hypocrite, because he was a very vocal opponent of same sex marriages. He was against same sex marriages. But to be fair, he has never publicly come out against anonymous gay bathroom sex.
This has to be embarrassing for Republicans. All these gay scandals and they still can’t get any support from Hollywood.
The police report says he tapped his foot, which means 'I want gay sex.' And, also means I'll never wear my iPod to the bathroom again.
The way I look at it, anyone who spends more than two minutes in an airport men's room is guilty of something.
Alberto Gonzales is stepping down, but he can't recall why.
After months of scandals and political pressure, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced he's going to resign. Gonzales said, 'There comes a time when a man should resign, and that time for me was last January.'
Nicole Richie went to jail for her DUI conviction this weekend, but she only had to spend 82 minutes in prison. This is due to California's new “minute-per-pound” rule.
Good news: The Paris Hilton sex tape is being re-released with an hour of previously unseen footage. Fans say thanks to the extra hour, the plot finally makes sense.
I guess it's no wonder that a poll out this summer put 'None of the Above' over all of the other Republican candidates. And if 'None of the Above' does get the Republican nomination, you know two things will happen: a) the Democrats will find a way to lose to him, and b) Bush will try to call and congratulate him.
One of the president's daughters, the lovely Jenna Bush, is getting married. Now they're thinking, if they can just marry off Condoleezza Rice. Yea, it looks pretty good that Jenna's getting married, but first the guy has to be confirmed by Congress. ... It's going to be an expensive wedding. I guess it's no surprise, the $3 billion contract went to Halliburton.
Someone has been watching a little bit too much Bring it On. Oh wait, I need to be watching more Bring it On actually.
Have a drink on me!
You lost me at at "Moral Majority" to "Oral Majority."
Gawd - he's baaaaaaaack!
Princess Diana Died?????
Cheesy: Just stop it. Stop It!! I will have sex with you. You dont have to impress me.
Sparky: Just trying to get everyone happy.
Bon: I will have a drink on you as long as you recgonize my Hell's Bells
Songbird: He has evolved like a beautiful butterfly.
Metal: I understand your ignorance, this story hasnt been covered very well.
The favorite joke:
What has 100 legs and can't walk?
50 of Jerry's kids
Dean: Thats sooooo nice. Ghoul!!
LMFAO @ Dean! We're all sooo very sick!!
Bad, bad, bad, Again!!!
lol...Have a wonderful weekend!
Peace
Public gay sex is illegal? Even for republicans?
We need a constitutional amendment.
You are one sick mo-fo. A "Sometimes" pantyliner? Ewww!
Yeah and you need to catch up. I remember this guy Matt who used to always read and comment on my blog. Then I meet him in person and he completely goes away. What a dickhole. ;)
Odat: I hope you just enjoy your weekend more than anyone in this world has!!
Metal: Rock on my friend and enjoy your life without the aid of a CAPS LOCK!!! CHEERS!!!!
Marilyn: You Kill Me!!
Allie: I have been lax but not just of your site. But I will say, everytine I ignore you, I ignore the sexy girl who got me started me blogging, and I apologize. Cheers my friend.
I don't think I know all of the words to any Michael Jackson song...*LOL* But, I know "HE He, Chicka Chicka".
Now I'll be singing this damn song all day...ah well...not a better one to sing while scrubbin' the toilet, heh?!
Have a great weekend, dude.
CRaZy: Think of me while you are scrubbin'? Cheers!!
"Cuz she was YOUNG and SHY and oh so tender! Would I break down to night and surrender? This young thing this sweet thing I just can't wait. No I shouldn't do this she's ALMOST JAIL BAIT! Bu dup ba badala bup. Bu dup ba badal bup."
Screaming down route 3 to the Cape in a notchback green Saab with my boyfriend in 1980. I was 17.... Damn I love Rick James. Thanks Bagman!!!
Kim: HA HA ....Very good, you always lend a touch of class to my site with your posts. Cheers and enjoy your weekend!!
would the cheerleader be revolving on your glitter-gloved hand's middle finger and as she stops, does Senator Craig come over and ask if he can climb on?
Now I've got Dirty Diana stuck in my head, too. And of course, I only know the "Dirty Di-an-uh!" part, too.
I enjoyed the Sometimes panty liner remark as well. Those are much cheaper than the Always.
That's Alright
That's Ok
You're Gonna Pump Our Gas Someday!
My child LOVED Bring It On.
Fine. I did too.
Shutty!
Cheesy is DA BOMB!! And yesss a yummy superfreak ;-)
Yeah you finally streamed into my reader--oh my that sounds naughty ;-)
What was that last bit you forgot sugar?
Fine..... about time you offered it up. :o)
As an obvious ploy to get you to visit my blog... I gave you an award.
Make sure you're an organ donor, my friend. Your brain MUST be saved.
Have a great Labor Day Matt-man! May you sing Dirty Diana allllllllllll weekend! :-)
I can't watch Diana stuff anymore.
Have a pleasant holiday weekend!
Wasn't George W. a cheerleader?
I'm concerned.. this made perfect sense to me.
you think you have problems?!
I keep singing the theme tune to spongebob squarepants in greek.Ever since the world set on fire and I drank a whole bottle of gin to deal with the blood red sea!
I'm almost glad that my vacation is over, but no now I have to fit 30 hours of lessons int 20 hours of real time and why does everyone want 3-5pm (surely they can't all be having piano lessons.
Well I'm back. I sort of missed you does that mean I need help?
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