During President Ahmadinejad’s speech to the students and faculty of Columbia University on Monday, he made a point of inviting any and all of the audience to come visit his country and universities. I found the outreach to be quite a gesture of openness and good will, especially from somebody who would most likely enjoy seeing the United States suffer the same fate as the lost civilization of Atlantis.
Yesterday, blogger friend Katherine suggested that perhaps I should take the Iranian President up on his offer, and venture to the land upon which such monumental figures as Cyrus and Darius the Great once lived and ruled. I thought long and hard about this for nearly seven minutes, and ultimately I came to the following conclusion…Why Not Me?
Think about the following. In order to connect with the average Iranian do we really want to send a group of upper crust Ivy League students whose childhood consisted of nannies and beachfront summer homes and whose future includes ambulance chasing and embezzlement indictments? No, I say.
Why not send someone who grew up drinking powdered milk and wore hand-me-downs from his six older brothers (and sometimes from his two older sisters)? I say, send an “Average Joe” whose future depends upon whether or not he hits the lottery or his son being drafted in the first round by an NBA basketball team. Who fits such a description?
Me!!
Who better to be the face of America amongst the Iranian populous? I am after all, Matt-Man…A purveyor of Midwest American values such as hard work, being a good neighbor, and the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. Being a lifelong resident of Ohio, I am an amalgamation of big cities and small towns…of international corporations and local family farms…of pristine nature reserves and burgeoning toxic landfills. I may not be an All-American, but I do embody ALL of America.
Aside from all of the political and military rhetoric that goes back and forth between the administrations of our two countries, I am sure that we would be surprised as to how much the average citizen in Iran and the US have in common, things such as struggling to put food on the table, complaining about our government, and delighting in the joy that the laughter of a child can bring.
Sure, this post contains humor and sarcasm, but don’t take it as a joke. While I may have seasoned this entry with a touch of comedy, the thought of peace in the world is something I am very serious about. I would very much like to go to Iran. I would like to speak with the people about everyday life, share a laugh or two, and in a sense say to every leader of every country, “We can get along; why cant you?”
I will be contacting the Iranian officials today to pass along my request to visit. I’ll be sure to let you know if I get a response, and Katherine, if you want to tag along, just let me know!!
Cheers!!
Make Sure To Catch The Mo-Show Tonight at 7PM...Details HERE
40 comments:
I knew if I hung around long enough, I'd be the first to comment. Yippee!
Gotta run the kid to band; I'll be back to read. Just wanted to comment first.
I think that no one embodies the term "average Joe" as much as you do, you sexy hunk of average man-ness.
Songbird: Isnt it nice to avoid sloppy seconds!?
108: My averageness is so atypical...what?
Yes, sloppy seconds are best avoided, aren't they? Teehee!
You know, there is something richly enticing about the thought your going to Iran to promote the American lifestyle. In fact, should you go, I'll pay for several dozen cases of WIR to accompany you. I think that a little good ol' American imbibing might be just what God ordered, don'tcha think? Might pull some sticks pulled out of some asses, methinks.
Songbird: Not a bad thought but I'd rather not be responsible for introducing an outbreak of cirrhosis of the liver to Iran. Cheers!!
You touch on a valid point. We are not that much different. I think that if we remove politics, and put religion on a shelf for a minute, we might realized that all any parent ANY WHERE wants is a place to raise a family-happy, nourished, and secure.
You're sexy when you're serious, but I like the sarcasm too.
Oh Mr. Embodiment of All America, Go forth to Iran and teach them something....(do they have their own monkeys????) ;-)
Peace
Do you need an average Jane photographer?
Metalmom: You are correct and it is all of the propagandists that get in the way. Additionally, I'll send you a picture of me with a serious look on my face for you to put on your bedroom ceiling. Cheers!!
Odat: I dont know if they have monkeys, but if they do, I'll see about bringing one back.
Lisa: A photographer such as yourself would be quite helpful. I'll let you know what develops. Bada Bing!!
If I weren't a digital convert, I'd go in the darkroom with you. As it is, you're already in the dark...
Bada BING!
Songbird: Au Contraire'...I am the light and the way!!
Oh yeah, I forgot - are you still Mattsiah? I thought you were just a mushroom...
yeah--you might want to tone down the Mattisiah thing if you go;-)
Nope, no Irish Rose. You'd have to be on a strict coffee only diet to be polite. However, a loose goat sandwich might go over very well!
Songbird: Would that make me a crematty?
TB: It would be nice to return home in one piece.
Boy: Introducing them to the beauty of Loosemeat is already on my list. Cheers!!
I must only use this power for good….
Just let me know with enough advance warning so I can increase my life insurance. And get a laptop with satellite internet. Do I have to wear a burkha…if so I wouldn’t have to get an adaptor for my blowdryer. How do you say “blow” in Farsi…or is it Persian…?
Seriously…if they take you up on the offer I would be honored to be part of your entourage.
(The State Department is gonna e-phn LOVE us)
Katherine: As soon as they get back with me we will work out details such as electrical adapters and dress code...As far as the State Department goes I cant imagine that there would be much red tape, can you?
Lisa has aquieseced to come along and capture the tour on film. Drink now, because we wont be able to over there !!
Can I bring a date?
Since I’m not married ..and neither or you…they would probably insist I sleep with Schmoop…and you would have to sleep with Phillip. Trust me…that would be a treat for you.
(Don’t get tooooo excited Matthew…the phenomenon of homosexuality does not exist in Iran…maybe there just isn’t a word for “blow” in Farsi)
ahh...okay....I just read my email.
Maybe I should start commenting as Anonymous.
11am...is that too soon for Gentleman Jack on the rocks?
Katherine...er...Anoymous: Maybe it would be beneficial if we just slept in shifts. I cant see Schmoop going, she doesnt like riding in a car let alone a plane. Bottoms Up and enjoy the Jack.
You can only go if I can send my jackass deadbeat ex-husband with you and you leave him over there.
Dixie: I would, but this a good will tour, and I'm actually serious. Cheers to you and Matt!!
You do put the CAN in American ;)
Take booze. Me thinks it would help.
Starrlight: Ha, thanks...I'd take it, but I think they would frown on that,however, my liver would be smiling for the duration!!
As long as you blog from there. If not, you can't leave!
-N
Nat: Why thank you very much. That was very kind of you to say. Cheers!! : )
Considering some of the things the powers that be seem to want to send to Iran, you would be a vast improvement. If you get the gig, let me know ... Peaceful I can do.
Jamie: Thanks Jamie and peace right back at ya. Cheers!!
There was comedy and sarcasm?
I took the entire post seriously....
Bond: That's because your idea of comedy and sarcasm is Mussolini. Bada Bing and Cheers!!
Matt-man,
Go by all means...give him some wine and loose meat sandwiches...
then shoot the bastid. Who would suspect you?
Oh what fun! :)
I ask a serious question...
Is it truly possible for people of vastly different philosophies to come together in the spirit of peace and understanding, and ask each other questions, and listen to the answers, and formulate new and real opinions about each other, based on what they discover rather than what they have been told by people in power with agendas?
Is it? I think it is.
Wouldn't it be nice to get the politicians - as well as the people who's only goal is to kill us - out of the way and find out?
**takes a bat to the side of Serious Trav's head and throws him back in the box**
You HAVE to let me take your passport photo...In your sheets!
Matty: Loosemeat, yes. Wine, no. Shoot them? You sound more like an American than a Canadian...Violence isnt the goal. Cheers!!
Travis: That is exactly what I am talking about and would like to have the opportunity to do. Cheers my good man.
Cheesy: Maybe not my Passport Photo but I'll let you take any other photo thatyou'd like. Cheers!!
CrAzY: Most things worthwhile are fun. Cheers!!
Wait...you want to take a bat to the side of Serious Trav's head and....oh! You want to do the other thing I said.
I get it now!
Travis: Ha. Good One.
Best of luck to you my friend. :D
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