Monday, October 01, 2007

Let The Birthdays Begin

Today is a big day here at Bagwine Ruminations. We are passing on best wishes to a member of the Bagwine family. My brother Vinny is celebrating his birthday.

Fifty-four years ago today the V-Man slid down and out of my mom’s birth canal and began his life’s journey which would include ups and downs, joy and sorrow, and one of those most enduring mullets in hairstyle history.

Vince is the fifth of nine children, which in this case results in a propensity to be incredibly anal structured. If you want to know what time of day it is or what day of the week it is, my brother Vinny is more accurate than a cesium clock.

He cleans out his gutters, washes his car, mows the grass, and goes to the grocery on the same day and at the same time every week. Mussolini and his timely trains had nothing on Vinny.

I am sure Vince and I will share a few drinks in honor of his birthday because he does love his beer. He also loves to eat although looking at him you wouldn’t know it. The boy can really put away the food and yet he remains as thin as Paris Hilton’s serious side. In fact, if he and I came across a tribe of cannibals, they would eat me and use my brother as a toothpick.

So here’s to my brother Vinny…A man whose OCD abounds, who keeps the mullet alive, and a man who obviously has the metabolism of a hummingbird, I bid you Happy Birthday and hope that you don’t get all fucked up when we go back to Eastern Standard Time in a month.

Happy Birthday Vince!!

On a related note, today is merely an October kickoff as far as birthdays go. Later this month we will be celebrating the birthdays of Bagwine fave Haircare Joe, Allie of Memoirs of a Gouda, as well as a really big one…On October 24th, the man-boy and future NBA star who chicks dig, my son Ryan, turns the BIG 13. Yep, on that day he turns into a teenager and I turn into a walking ulcer. I cherish the thought.

Have a truly lovely Monday and please join me in wishing Vinny a wonderful birthday.

Cheers!!

34 comments:

Desert Songbird said...

A happiest of birthday to your brother, Vince - I hope you don't imbibe too much. BTW - you've never tried to get him to shave his head like you?

The man child turning into a teenager...now THERE'S a thought that could make your hair fall out...

Schmoop said...

Songbird: Imbibng too much is not in the cards because it is not in his Monday schedule. As far as Ryan, I think it would be more accurate to say it will cause, "what's LEFT of my hair to fall out." Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday "Joe", uh I mean Vince!!

Schmoop said...

Schmoop: Bada Bing!!

Lee Ann aka Dixie said...

*in my best Marilyn Monroe impersonation*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINNYYYYYYYYY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAY TO YOU....

Sparky Duck said...

Happy Birthday Vinnie

Though image I did not need was vaginal canal.

Lisa Ryan said...

Happy birthday Vinnie!
Eat, drink and be merry today.
Happy Monday Matt-man.

Schmoop said...

Dixie: You are such a sultry typist. You put Marilyn to shame. Cheers!!

Sparky: The miracle of life is a beautiful thing...I mean other than the crying, the placenta, and the hospital bill.

Lisa: Right back at ya, and Cheers!!

Natalia said...

Snoopydance of birthdayness from me to him.

-N

Schmoop said...

Nat: I'll pass that on and I am diggin the hot new picture of ya!! Cheers!!

Odat said...

Happy Day to Vince...(wish i had his metobolism!!)
Peace

Schmoop said...

Odat: You and me both!!

Laura said...

Happy Birthday to your bro, Matt-Man!

Unknown said...

October is definitely a busy month! My parents anniversary and a good friend's birthday both fall on the 13th. It's also my aunt's birthday on the 16th and my sister and law's on the 6th.

And a Happy Birthday to your bro. It is fascinating to see all of the genetic variations on a family with 9 siblings. Which sibling are you most like?

Unknown said...

Herzlichen Glueckwunsch zum Geburtstag, lieber Vince-Man =)

Happy Birthday, dear Vince-Man!

Sending in some good vibes and lots of delicious beer from Germany.

Matty, there´s a nice German tradition. We paddle our "birthday children". One spank on the behind for each year and on for the upcoming year. That´s 55 for the Vince-Man - well, I´m not with you - could you please do me the favor and be a worthy stand-in? ♥

Kitty said...

Happy Birthday to Vince!! Although I have never forgiven his "coitus interruptus". Bastard.

Schmoop said...

Laura: Thanks Laura, I am going to print this off for him. Cheers!!

Allie: I am most like my little knnown tenth sibling that we dont talk about. His name was Vlad.

Sanni: Birthday spanks are done over here as well. I would feel incestantly dirty if I did it to my brother so maybe I will hire a hooker. Cheers Sexy!!

Kitty: You finally commented and it had to be about Vince interrupting our teenage attempts at discordant sex...er...love making in a bathroom stall. So typical of you, and so freaking funny!! Larry Craig had nothing on us. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

Okay matt-man, stopped by because you were listed under somebody's Manic Monday post...But glad to say happy Birthday to your brother Vinny! Vinny also happens to be my husband's name...I too survived a Catholic upbringing but have no faith now...

Schmoop said...

Maryt: Thanks for stopping by and I hope you check out some of my other post from the past and future because I am usually much funnier....And why is that, you ask? Because as you said, I am a former Catholic. Cheers and please stop by again.

katherine. said...

Celebrate with your bro Matt-Man! You know how precious they are.

teenage son....laughing lauging laughing....

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful tribute! :)

Cheesy said...

Happy happy to all the Punkin babies!! OMG ryno will soon be a man!

Spicy said...

Happy Birthday Vinnie.....! Hope that cheap brother of yours Matt-man baked you a cake at least and a case of beer??
DO NOT eat loose-meat sandwiches before you imbibe. Matt-man will shave your head....why? because he's jealous.
You wear it well! Party on!

cathy said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS Y'ALL

"walking ulcer" I knew there was a good description somewhere for the way I"ve been feeling lately!

Travis Cody said...

Happy Birthday to your brother!

Cheers!

Janna said...

My dad's birthday is October 5th... does that count? :)

Schmoop said...

Katherine: Please do not laugh at my upcoming peril. CHeers!!

CrAzY: Thank ya very much, Cheers!!

Cheesy: Ryno already does think he's a man!!

Matty: You are correct. I am very jealous of his Billy Ray Cyrus inspired hair.

Cathy: Sorry you feel like that, but now you have someone to ulcerate with!!

Travis: Thanks Trav, and Cheers to you!!

Janna: Of course it counts. Happy Birthday Dad of Janna!!

RW said...

Happy birthday v-man!

Schmoop said...

Roger: I'll pass your words on R-Man!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Never underestimate the power of a mullet.

Schmoop said...

Starrlight: My brother will be happy to hear that. Cheers!!

jillie said...

Happy birthday Vince...How did you deal or cope with growing up with the Matt Man....LMAO!!!

You know I'm only joking right Matt ;o)

Julie said...

Hey Vince! Happy b-day! At least you had some peace and quiet before your brother popped out didn't ya?

Schmoop said...

Jillie and Julie (that's fun to say): Your comments are very hurtful and have damaged my large yet fragile ego. Excuse me, why I go to curl up and weep. Cheers!!