It is a lovely late October Sunday in Bagwine, Ohio, but be on guard because there is a sign of the Apocolypse in the air.Lynne Spears, mother of pop star and toxic waste dump Britney Spears, is writing a book on of all subjects....Parenting.
That's right the lady who was responsible for Britney's upbringing, which as an adult has resulted in Britney's passion for drugs, public displays of her yeast factory, and unintentionally playing Hide-and Seek with her chidren, is going to pass her pearls of parenting wisdom on to us.
Some people think that this book is going to be a trashy tell-all money generator, but have no fear; the publisher has dispeled all of these silly notions with the following...
"A statement from Christian publisher Thomas Nelson insists it will focus purely on her skills as a mom."
Yes, you read that right; the book publisher is a purveyor of Christian materials. Truth is not only stranger than fiction, it's a damn sight funnier as well!! I can't wait for her book to come out, becuase one of my best friends in life is "irony".
In fact, the only thing that could improve this story is if it is revealed that Lindsay Lohan's parents are going to write the foreward to the book. God, how I do love "stupid".
And now, let us bow our heads for our weekly petitions...
Lord, please keep the Spears family safe so that I can continue to write about them. Lord, Hear Our Prayer.
Lord, if you feel like resurrecting somebody, make it Lizzie Borden, so that she may put pen to paper and write a book about parental devotion. Lord, Hear Our Prayer.
Lord, I know I am getting older, but could you help me to wake up just one morning without some part of my body hurting for no apparent reason? Lord, Hear Our Prayer.
Amen, and Amen...
Enjoy your Sunday and Cheers!!
24 comments:
Maybe the title will be:
"How to raise a filty skank as a meal ticket."
""Lord, I know I am getting older, but could you help me to wake up just one morning without some part of my body hurting for no apparent reason? Lord, Hear Our Prayer""
Cripes dear Lord let it be so~~ AMEN AMEN!!!!
Matt-man, you are crazy :) but no more than the Christian? publisher of Britney Spear's mom's book! LOL! Only in America, eh?
Joined you in your litany and I don't usually do that anymore...
I love your irreverence!
My Manic Monday post are at and
Had trouble giving you my Manic Monday posts: http://workofthepoet.blogspot.com
and
http://maryt.wordpress.com
Hammer: I think your title pretty much sums it up. Cheers!!
Cheesy: I feel your pain, or more accurately, I WANT to feel your pain. Boo Yah!!
Teach: Thanks and thanks for stopping and leaving a comment. I will be sure to stop by and check out your Manic Monday. Cheers!!
I love the image you used- blasphemer! And I am so with you on the aches and pains!
Have a good Sunday!
Metalmom: Thanks...I have found that alcohol on a Sunday really helps to relieve the week's pains. Cheers!!
And where oh where is Brit's father in all of this mess? I think people underestimate the role of the dad in a girl's life. Given how Brit has turned out, I guess that question doesn't really need answering.
Yeah, I'll be sure to rush right out and buy that book, along with my copies of The Book of Mormon and anything written by the Oral Roberts camp.
Oh GAWD! I cannot believe this. I hadn't heard it yet. What a crock.
ditto on the pain prayer!
ON YOUR KNEES MATT-MAN Halleluiah!
Must be the same publisher as O.J.'s book. I will not buy it or read it..I will go by my parental instincts. Is that woman for real..does she not know she will be the laughing stock.
who wants to know how to raise 'the brat from hell'?
makes you wonder if there shouldn't be rules about who gets to breed....
CrAzY: Believe it....and cry and laugh. Cheers!!
Cathy: On my Knees!!? That would put me in agony!!
Matty: I'll read it for you and pass on her gems of advice.
Katherine: Oh if only that were true. Cheers!!
Hey, Butthead. You skipped my comment. On purpose?
Songbird: Well blow me down, a thousand pardons. I was however,a little put off by you making fun of a family as holy as the Roberts Clan. Cheers!!
And here I thought you were upset that I dissed The Book of Mormon!
I just love that pic!!! OMG LMFAO
Peace
Songbird: I love Mormons...They're so...um...polygomous.
Odat: I was quite amused myself. I wish that I had created it. Cheers!!
Once again life proves better than fiction. You truly could not make that up.
What do you bet it makes No 1 in the Times Non Fiction list?
And just in case there are not enough pictures in Lynne's book, you can watch Lindsay Lohan's mom Dinah's reality tv show on being a Manager/Mom!
The Boy: I can hardly wait...sorta.
Starrlight: see above!!
Does she not even know what her daughter is up to? Mother of the year?? WTF????
I meant to write a book on parenting? See? I'm dumfounded!!!
Jillie: Snap out of it woman!!
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