Iranians Treat Me Better Than My Own

Bill O’Reilly?…Pastor Rod Parsley?…Paula White, John Hagee, Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyer, Richard and Lindsay Roberts, and the entire gang over at the Trinity Broadcasting Network?…They are all bums. I have emailed all of those folks several times in order to invite them to answer some questions or just offer words of encouragement in times of scandal. Did any of those chuckle heads get back with me? NO!!


However, back in September, I contacted the Iranian Interests Office located within the Pakistani Embassy and suggested to them that I would like to visit their country and go on a Good Will Peace Tour. (You can read that post by clicking HERE.) I asked them to get back with me. They responded immediately, and forwarded my request to the office of President Ahmadinejad. But for a month, nothing…Until yesterday.


I came home yesterday and lo and behold, resting against the door was an oversized bubble wrap manila envelope. Let me take you on a virtual tour of the contents… (Click On Any of the Pics To Enlarge)




Ah, as we can see, the return address label shows that it came from my new buddies at the Iranian Office within the Pakistani Embassy…

Carefully opening the package I see that there is a lovely looking folder from “My Homeland Iran”… Ooooooo what could be inside of this I thought…Dinars? Falafel recipes? Anthrax?

None of the above, instead, I was greeted by a letter which was typed on very nice letterhead….









What does this letter say? They thank me for my interest AND it says, that upon completion of reading the materials they want to hear from me and then they send the “second installment. Woo Hoo, testing whether my intent is true are they? That’s okay, I’ll show them that it is. Click on the pic to see the entire content of the letter…If you dare!!




Lessee, what’s this? Slap me on the ass and call me Ali-Baba a sweet looking DVD titled, “Iran, Land of Peace…A New Color in the Rainbow”. I can’t imagine that they have too many rainbows there, with the limited amount of rain, but I can’t wait to watch this.

Hey now, check this out…A calendar that uses the Solar Year and highlights all of the Islamic holy days. That’s pretty cool looking. Schmoop will be able to tell what day it is in Iran when I’m over there.

Lastly, four colorful brochures about the people, geography, government, and culture of the Islamic Republic. These will provide a lot of useful background information when I go to Iran or something to read while I am rotting away in Gitmo, whichever comes first.

Here I thought that much like my own fellow Americans had ignored my correspondence, so had the Iranians. I should have known that based upon their quick initial response that they wouldn’t. O’Reilly, Parsley, and all of you other rude deadbeats are being put on notice, the Iranian government is so much more caring than you clowns.

So, Katherine…Lisa…Pack your bags and get your cameras ready, our Iranian Good Will Tour is back on the table. I do have one thought however, do you think the postman has reported me to the Department of Homeland Security?

Cheers!!