Matt-Man: Sarcastic Ass or Sugar Daddy?

My week started off in a strange way. Sunday my friend Schmoop briefly posted, which you can read HERE, about how sweet it was that I went to the store to get her some ice cream.

It seems, that at approximately 3 PM Sunday afternoon, her hemoglobin and other bodily fluids were sucrose, fructose, and frozen lactose deprived and she was in danger of becoming comatose. That’s where I come in and save the day…

I braved the early November elements of wind, rain, and yes being stuck behind some lady with a Jesus fish on the back of her car making her way to the rapture at the top speed of 15 mph.

And yet, in spite of not having access to a silly blue suit and being grossly overpaid, I continued my trek with the resolute dedication of a mailman in search of Christmas tips. (Sorry Cheesy)

When I returned home with a gallon of Neapolitan Ice Cream, I was a hero. I was “sweet”.

Fast forward to Monday morning. When I awoke, I checked to see if I had any new comments on my blog. I had a couple, and one stuck out above the others. Mimi had commented and left a link to her site. On her post, which you can read HERE, she had awarded me a “Sweet Read Award”. I was appreciative that she had thought of me in that light, although it did make me question Mimi’s mental and emotional make-up.

I copied the award and pasted it to my sidebar, and it was at the point when I thought to myself, “How very strange.” In less than 24 hours two people had referred to me as “sweet”. Now, I have been called many things, but typically “sweet” is not an adjective that rolls off one’s tongue and into my ears, well, with me being the intended recipient that is.

Here’s the rub…I am called “sweet” or something to that effect, maybe twice in a decade. Within 24 hours both of those occasions were used up. Does this mean that for me, the rest of this decade holds nothing but being referred to as an asshole, son of a bitch, or no good mo-foe?

I shudder at this thought because as we all know, I am nothing at all like that…at least not when I am sleeping or singing “Onward Christian Soldiers” while soaping up in the shower.

So folks, that’s where my life stands at the moment. Yesterday I was doubly sweet, and from here until the 2010’s begin, I will be known as an “asshole”…Well, as long as people throw the adjectives, “funny” and “sarcastic” in front of “asshole” I guess I can live with that. Yeah, I can live with that just fine.

Cheers!!