Richard Roberts Resigns From ORU: WWLD, What Will Lindsay Do?

If you are a frequent reader of Bagwine Ruminations you are aware of the scandalous shenanigans taking place at Oral Roberts University. Richard and Lindsay Roberts have been accused of misusing University money in order to finance personal trips, buy expensive clothes, and make their time here on Earth seem like Heaven.

Lindsay has been alleged to have spent time in the company of underage boys. She has allegedly been seen smoking with them, driving them around in her sports car, and by all indications, well by that I mean, hopeful speculation on my part, having touchy feely come to Jesus meetings with a minor disciple.

These allegations came to light a little over a month ago, and yesterday Richard Roberts resigned his position as President of Oral Roberts University. There is no word if Lindsay Roberts is resigning her position or more importantly, which position she currently is engaged.

I want to thank the Roberts family for the amusement provided by their opulence and...um...copulence. I also want to send my heartfelt best wishes out to Richard and Lindsay Roberts and my condolences to every 16 year old boy in the greater Tulsa area, who will never get to experience the ecumenical elation that lies within the loins of Lindsay. Sad.

I see that Google and other engine searches for “Richard and Lindsay Roberts” have been flooding my site with new visitors, so for those, I am re-posting my musical tribute to Lindsay Roberts. I hope you enjoy it.

Have a great Saturday. And one last thing…Yo!! Rod Parsley, Joyce Meyer, Benny Hinn and TBN, watch your back because you could be the next to fall victim to the Almighty’s brand of justice.

Cheers!!