It’s going to be Partly Sunny and 60 degrees here in Bagwine, Ohio today…not too bad for the first Sunday in November. It’s a great day to open the windows, sip some drinks, eat some wings, and watch the Indianapolis Colts kick New England’s ass. Okay, maybe the Patriots will beat the Colts, but I don’t really care.It’s true. Since I’ve grown older, I watch football just to see a well played game. I don’t get too worked up over which team will win, I just want to watch and learn more about the science of a well run Cover 2 Zone Defense or a perfectly executed Pitch Left HB Option with Trips right freeing the Tight End to get isolation on the OLB by running a skinny post pattern. It must be due to my burgeoning maturity.
My maturity shows in other areas of my life as well. For instance, when I get my monthly issue of “Barely Legal” magazine I don’t drool over the pictures showing two buxom, naked 18 year olds muff diving in a backyard wading pool; instead, I wonder about what type of filter and what shutter speed did the photographer use in order to avoid getting an annoying reflection from the splashing water.
Sometimes I just skip the pictures altogether and go straight to the articles…must read articles such as “Know Your Rights: Statutory Rape Allegations and You” and “When Viagra Isn’t Enough”.
Hell, even when fantasizing during sex, be it with a woman or by myself, I no longer think about having a three-way with Tyra Banks and Jessica Alba; I think about having a three-way with a big slab of Prime Rib and a loaded Baked Potato. Maturity sure is a funny thing…
And now, bow your heads and let us pray:
Father, please put me and my beloved Notre Dame Fighting Irish out of our misery by cancelling the remaining games of their 2007 football season. Lord, Hear Our Prayer.
Father, we pray that President Bush will
Amen, and Amen.
I want to thank Bond and Anonymous for sending emails to Bill O’Reilly. The three of us have emailed and challenged Falafel Boy to be interviewed by me or be outed as a Coward. Please join the fun and email him asking him to come out of the bushes and let Matt-Man and Bagwine Ruminations ask him a few questions. His email address is oreilly@foxnews.com
Lastly, listen to Turnbaby’s (inventor of the phrase, “I’m Matt-Man, Bitch!!”) BlogTalk Radio show tonight. For details click HERE.
Have fun, be safe, and Cheers!!
15 comments:
And if you're mature, then I'm Tia Carrere.
Songbird: If you're Tia Carrere, I wanna get nekkid with ya. Hell, even if you're not, I still wanna get nekkid with ya. Booooo Yah and Cheers!!
Ya know, I was actually thinking about doing a blog about how mature you've become over the time I've been reading you...NOT!;-)
pEACE
Odat: I'm hurt. How can you say that my perfecting stick figure art, admitting my desire to have a sex change in order to become a lesbian porn star, and contacting the Iranian government in the name of peace doesn't show maturity? Shocking!!
El toro PooPoo Matt buddy.. you watch football for the cheerleaders! BTW I updated last night's post just for you buddy!!!
Cheesy: The younger immature Matt used to watch football for the Cheerleaders. Nevertheless, I will be right over to see the update. Cheers!!
I will send an email to Mr O'Reilly...if you promise to give a shout out to my Grampa during the interview... deal?
Kat: It's a deal. Just make sure that your Grampa would want a shout out from me. Cheers!!
As Irish fans, I think we are both showing tremendous maturity by not throwing some serious tantrums.
Travis: Once again, you make an outstanding point. Cheers and duck as I throw a vase across the room
we have a patient whose name is Ebolya. really.
maybe we could send her over to give your president a blow job. with or without teeth
Nursemyra: That would work just fine, but we would have to get Prime Minister Howard off of his wanker first. Cheers!!
I always knew you were a reader and appreciated fine art.
TB: I try...Some refer to me as Matt da Vinci.
You? Maturing?
Shhh. Stop that. :)
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