(click on cartoon to enlarge)The writers of film and TV have signed on to strike the Hollywood entertainment establishment. Most shows have several episodes in the can already but if this strike persists for a couple of months what does it mean to you? Well, let me tell you…
Two words: Reality TV.
Reality TV will go on largely unaffected, and isn’t that what we all need more of. More shows like Fear Factor, Big Brother, and Dancing With the Stars (sorry Trav) will soon grace our airwaves. Slap me on the ass and color me happy because you can screw your comedy and drama shows, I want to see more cockroaches eaten and less talent on my TV screen.
Actually, if a reality show is full of excitement, grittiness, and somewhat amusing, this strike doesn’t have to be a total loss. In fact, I have a few ideas to pitch to the network execs on a few reality shows that might just catch on.
Hot Iron Chef: This show pits two contestants against each other in the Kitchen of Doom. Whoever concocts the best dish wins and gets to jab Rachel Ray with a Hot Iron Fireplace poker. Can you say “Yum-Ohhhhhhhhh”?
Dog the Bounty Hunter, Live from Harlem: Dog will be roaming the streets of Harlem beating down indigenous bail skippers faster than a black man leaving a Strom Thurmond memorial service. Each episode will feature Dog and Bill O’Reilly doing a summation of what went down live from Sylvia’s Soul Food Restaurant.
Being Britney Spears: Young mothers will compete against each other to see who can neglect their kids the most without actually killing them. The winner will receive a case of Stoli, a case of crotchless panties, and a case of the clap.
Big Mutha: A show that highlights the relationship between two prison cell mates. You will learn why Skip “Nutty Butter” Maxwell both loves AND fears his prison partner, Nate “Semi-Truck” Johnson. Viewers will find out that, “love hurts” is not just a cliché.
So those are but a few of my ideas. If the prospect of more reality shows doesn’t thrill you, just look on the bright side…If someone, somewhere was working on a movie script that featured Mariah Carey or Andy Dick, that baby has been put on hold.
Cheers!!
26 comments:
What, and they haven't contacted you to be a replacement writer? Unbelievable!
Songbird: I wouldnt be a scab writer even if they were to contact me. Cheers!!
OOOoooooh...where do I sign up for Hot Iron Chef?
Can I poke her twice? That would be DE-LISH and I'd be GOOD TO GO!
Real Live Lesbian: Are you saying that you want to make a sammie out of her and empty her Garbage Bowl? Cheers!!
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh Runs screaming to the nearest library to see what writers were doing while I was watching TV
Jamie: HA!! Very good. Cheers...
But you'd make an excellent scab!!
I say go for it....I'll miss Inky's utterances.(hey that could be the name of a new program!).....
Peace
Odat: Me? A scab? I prefer to inflict wounds rather than cover them up. I do like the program name. "Inky's Utterences". It has possibilities. Cheers!!
I think Rachael Ray would much less anooying if she laid off the happy pills for a week or so.
I think Britney needs to work in a carnival side show as the human pubic crab.
Hammer: Can you imagine Rachel Ray on speed or meth? Wow!!
GET THEE TO HOLLYWOOD!!!
You'd make an excellent writer! or you could pitch shows-you had a few good ones there!
Don't think you'll find the Dawg in Harlem. He has been using the 'N' word...its' all over the news. calling his son a 'n'-lover and he is apologizing to the black community..he needs to keep his butt out of Harlem for awhile.
you crack me up! You're wasting your talents on us peasants..get thee to hollywood.
Please leave Rachel alone...she kicked hubby out for cheating again and she is hurting at this time...
No word from Pu&&y O'Reilly yet
Metalmom: Maybe my next post (if it works out) will help me do just that. Cheers!!
Matty: I know about Dog's comments, that is why I was offering him a chance at redemption. Thanks for the kudos by the way. Cheers!!
Bond: I feel badly now, but no, Gurlie-Man O'Reilly has not emailed me back. Cheers!!
If you do become a scab does that mean I can pick at you?
And LMAO@ Real Live Lesbian!!
TB: Oooooooo pick at me baby, pick at me!!
I dunno....I still recovering from The Resurrection.
which by the way, I was worried was gonna be about an erection....
Kat: It would take a miracle for me to sing let alone experience an erection. Cheers!!
Wow... I miss so much no watching TV!
Marilyn: And you thought TV was all mindless fluff. Cheers!!
Now wait a minute. DWTS is NOT reality TV.
They may not be the A-list stars, but these are still celebrities and everyone knows that celebrities are not real people.
Now if it was Dancing with the Stars in a Vat of Green Jello, now we're talking reality tv!
Cheers!
What a crock...it's all a promotional scheme, I think!
I say bring on the reality TV: Dance with stars, eat bugs, travel around the world with someone you love to hate, live with 10 people and stay drunk all of the time while screwing your housemates, marry a millionaire... and be merry! *LOL*
LMFAO @ the 'toon
Travis: I knew you would chime in on that, and you have a point. Cheers!!
CrAzY: You just described what could be ONE great show. Cheers!!
Cheesy: HA. Finally, someone mentioned the 'toon. Thank You!!
Writers EVERYWHERE no matter how low on the totem pole they are - are totally underappreciated.
But you -Matt - you're a GENIUS, and we all appreciate you so much.
DON'T go Hollyweird and sell out on us - what would I do without my daily dose of the Matt-Man?
Angell: You had me at "Genius". Cheers!!
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