Saturday, December 29, 2007

2007: The End Is Near


Happy Saturday to you all. Hopefully, I will get to spend a couple of hours with Ryno this morning. Dear old Dad, has taken a back seat to his need to spend hour upon hour of playing Guitar Hero III with his cousins.

But that’s okay with me, because he only gets to see them a few times a year. If he’s happy, I’m happy.

I am still working on my 2007 Year-End Anthology. This morning I came across this gem from May. It was my idea of how the conversation would go between George Dubya and the Royals. Queen Elizabeth and her husband were here to visit Jamestown on it’s 400th Anniversary.

They had dinner at the White House and I am certain that the convo went something like this…

Dubya: You look fabulous tonight your Hine-ASS hehehehe. Doesn’t your Hine-ASS look fabulous Phil? Hehehehe. Hey everybody, check out the Hine-ASS on this one. Damn I’m hungrier than an Ethiopian wiener dog, let’s get some chow.

Dubya: Yo Liz, what’s that stuff they eat in Scotland? Y’know, that intestine thing stuffed with sow liver and pig farts?

QE II: Haggis?

Dubya: Gesundheit!! Do you know Phil…? Hey did you two get to stop by Yorktown after y’all went to Jamestown. It’s pretty cool. It’s where us and the Frogs kicked Lord Cornwallis’ ass n’shit. Yo Condi, pass the A-1 would ya?

Dubya: It must be pretty cool to sit in your big ass throne and call for traitors to be beheaded.

QE II: We don’t do that anymore.

Dubya: That’s a shame. I used to do it all the time when I was Governor of Texas. I fried more folks than McDonald’s has fried hamburgers. Or should I say Burger King!? Hey Phil, why aren’t you the King? WTF?

Prince Phillip: It doesn’t work like that.

Dubya: Sounds like you need to grow a set of marbles muchacho. I bet you pee sittin’ down. Hehehehe. Either way, when you’re done, it’s a Royal Flush!! Hehehehe…Yo cue ball, yeah you Kojak, how about pouring me some more sack-ee.

I guess I really need to get my worries under control. I mean it’s not like Dubya is the kind of guy who asked the President of Brazil, “Do you have blacks too?”, or groped the Chancellor of Germany. He’s just not like that…Is he?

Cheers!!

25 comments:

Crashtest Comic said...

dubya's an idiot...

Schmoop said...

Crashtest: Yes he is, but that's what makes him so...um... endearing...or something. Thanks for stopping by. Cheers!!

Unknown said...

Good Lord! The end is near! At least of the year!

Thanks for the continuing Bagwine year in review.

Leighann said...

I have nothing witty or even remotely interesting to say today. It's early and I already have a headache.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it! :)

Cheesy said...

Here is a toast to hoping the year 2008 is the year Inky grows some balls! **clink**

Anonymous said...

I might like Dubya more if he really did shit like that!

Schmoop said...

Nick: So it is. Have a great 2008. Cheers!!

Leighann: Au contraire...That may have been your most interesting comment to date. Cheers!!

Cheesy: Leave the poor Inkster alone. Cheers!!

Metalmom: Y'know something? I'd probably feel the same way. Cheers!!

Odat said...

Again that was funny.....
And hey, is that what I think it is in Inky's hand??? But it should be someplace else... ;-)

Peace

Schmoop said...

Odat: Get your mind out of the gutter. It's a poorly drawn bottle of Champagne. Cheers!!

Desert Songbird said...

Damn.

Forgot what I was gonna say.

Schmoop said...

Songbird: Damn It, Girl...Snap out of it!! Cheers!!

Sandee said...

I don't like any of them. Hated Clinton and don't care for Bush. It just doesn't matter who is elected...nothing gets done. All they do is finger-point and conduct investigations on each other. Waste of money. We need less government if you ask me. Have a great day Matt-Man. :)

Schmoop said...

Personally, I'm a Joe Biden guy. Whoever gets elected...man or woman...black or white...Republican or Democrat...As long as they give me funny things to write about, I'll be happy. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

I played guitar hero for the first time over Christmas...I sucked at it.

your year end anthology ought to be something...I can't wait!

Schmoop said...

Kat: It is rather fun isn't it!? Your pictures and post made it sound like you guys had a great time, and I am glad you did. Cheers Kat!!

Liz Hill said...

Please resolve to give Inky a pecker and some balls. I mean c'mon Matty--just because YOU ain't getting any doesn't mean poor Lola has to suffer.

Schmoop said...

TB: Y'know first of all that was very hurtful. Secondly, I have explained why Inky and Lola are who they are. Lola is my fantasy and Inky is my reality. Cheers!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

That was frighteningly close to how it might go. Or went as the case may be. After all he did give us this gem of wisdom regarding the war of independence:

"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."—Martinsburg, W. Va., July 4, 2007

Just wow :P

Schmoop said...

Starrlight: He's a frickin' train wreck. Cheers!!

Travis Cody said...

I hear that lots of people are taking a back seat to Guitar Hero.

Mimi Lenox said...

Guitars, fantasy, Inky's private parts, Lola's deprivation, Matt's ruminations...what is the world coming to?

I need an aspirin.

Unknown said...

Yeah Dubya is like that....not much longer and someone, say Cheney can take the fool hunting, and you know aim RIGHT!

Guitar Hero III vs. dad, imagine you not winning that war....too be honest I would expect you to be there jamming on and off....I know Papa looked at the game...we did not get it, THANK U LORD!

Papa had quality time playing D&D with the kids. Now he is playing XBox 360 while I try to figure out what the "F" is wrong with this crappy puter of ours.

Is it 2008 yet?

Unknown said...

Oh, she has a lovely pair of coconuts but they aren't symmetrical...and you know all of us women are...running away laughing hysterically!
Shoot Leighann gave me her headache!

Jeff B said...

I thought you'd be pretty good at Guitar Hero. Don't you have a fair amount of practice stroking a stick?

Schmoop said...

Travis: Yes they are. Ryno loves it. Cheers!!

Mimi: Here, have an aspirin and a glass of Wild Irish Rose. Cheers!!

Sassy: Don't knock Lola's knockers. Cheers!!

Jeff: You always take the conversation into the gutter, dontcha?. Cheers!!