Post Coital Jocularity: The Best Of Bagwine 2007

Happy New Year's Eve to all and welcome to Post-Coital Jocualrity: The Best of Bagwine 2007. Over the next couple of days I will be re-posting a post from each month of 2007...posts that I found funny or noteworthy in the Bagwine Ruminations world.

I am going to try and post all 12 months over the next two days so check back regularly... Thanks for helping Bagwine Ruminations enjoy a great year. You guys are the best readers and funniest commenters around.

Be Safe tonight and enjoy the retrospective. Cheers!!

Every January we in the U.S. are subjected to the President's State of The Union Address. I thought it might be interesting if the address was delivered by different folks....From January 23, 2007:

Rachel Ray: “My fellow foodies, in the next couple of weeks I will be flying to Iran to speak with, and cook a great meal for Iran’s President Alphabet.

I am going to make some kabobs, some flat bread called Nan-e barbari, and a meat and vegetable pie called kookoo…Yum-Oh!!

How good does that sound? And he and I will just, you know, hang out and eat. I will definitely get his nuke development stopped once he goes Coo-Coo for my kookoo..Heeheehee.

As far as Kim Jong Il, I think he is a sad, angry man in need of some nice comfort food. So I will travel to Pyongyang, heeheehee, that’s a funny name, and serve him a twist on my yummy comforting meatloaf. I am going to cook it in a Kimchi pot.

I call it…are you ready for this…Kimcheatloaf. Heeheehee, and it is dee-lish. Between the kimcheatloaf and the fact that Kim digs chicks with HUGE asses, the Korean peninsula will be dandy. That’s all I have time for. God Bless America, God Bless Oprah, and remember, an international peace treaty is never more than thirty minutes away.” (To Read the entire post click HERE)

There was some talk that I may have fathered Anna Nicole Smith's daughter. I dealt with those possibilities on February 26, 2007:

Well folks I am getting ready to hop aboard a big, yellow plane and fly to the Bahamas. I have been requested to donate some of my DNA to determine if my claim of being the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby is accurate.

The picture you see was taken two and a half hours prior to our six hour long carnal melee which produced Dannilynn.

The picture as well as the subsequent video of the raucous sex-fest was taken by my friend Janna.

Being the gentleman that I am, I have paid Janna asked Janna not to release the video. Hopefully I will be back later today with some news to report. If not, I’ll let you know now that tonight’s meatless menu is a big bowl of Minestrone soup.Until Later, Cheers!!

UPDATE 2:41 P.M.: RATS!! Well DNA tests on the Matt-Man and Dannilynn confirm with 99.99% certainty that I am NOT the father of Anna’s baby.

Tests did confirm however that in all likelihood I was the one who infected Anna Nicole Smith with nongonococcal urethritis. I am crushed, but it’s good to know why I have been having somewhat painful urinations. Cheers!!