I am offering up my blog today to a few clients from our town’s newly opened Mental Health facility, Krazy Kare. As part of it’s Grand Opening, Krazy Kare is holding a dance/fundraiser where community members can donate and spend the evening literally tripping the light fantastic with a patient.
The owner, Dr. James Jones has asked me to post pictures and brief statements of those patients who have yet to be chosen as a date for the night.
I was more than happy to help enable the patients to experience a therapeutic night of dancing and escape, albeit for only a couple of hours, from their normally fucked up lives. So, if you have a heart and want to help, consider donating and dancing with one of the following people of need…
HI…I WANNA DANCE. PLEASE!!? I ATE A LEPER ONCE AND MY INSIDES FELL OUT. IF WE DANCE, DON’T STEP ON MY FOOT, ‘CAUSE THAT’S WHERE I KEEP MY PANCREAS. IF THE MUSIC STOPS, WE CAN KEEP ON DANCING BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT SHOVED AN IPOD IN MY HEAD RIGHT AFTER I SURVIVED THE SINKING OF THE LUSITANIA BY FLOATING ATOP A VERY ACCOMMODATING GIANT SEA CUCUMBER.
Hi Fellas (and Ladies ; ). I am ready to tear up the ballroom floor. I need to feel a firm body against mine. I haven’t felt a body against mine since I dug up Richard Nixon’s corpse and spent the night licking his decaying clavicle. We will get along just fine unless you mention Muslims or Jews, in which case I’ll have to poke your right eye out with my Adam’s Apple.
Good day Ladies…My name is Roderick P. Whitworth. I’m an incredibly wealthy mutual fund manager. I have graceful moves and am always a gentleman. I am a graduate of Harvard Business School, and own six houses on three different continents. I like to cook, clean, and write poetry. I humbly hope you have the time for a waltz or two with me. Thank you.
Gauphin boo banger ringo. E=MC2...I=MC Hammer….Can’t Touch This!! Yes, please do touch this, no wait…Gronnnnnnnk, birdie doo birdie doooo. Castor Oil is nothing more than a cognizant pigeon. All Clear, All Clear…Pineapples make great policemen. Gotta go, my lighthouse is crying.
Ladies, Roderick P. Whitworth here again. My dead mother smashed a chair over my head and told me to fess up. I am NOT a wealthy mutual fund manager; I am a lawyer…A lawyer from a futuristic society ruled by Zodor the Magnificent...Also, I eat my own feces and frequently masturbate to pictures of Oliver Cromwell. I hope this new information does not dissuade you from cutting the rug with me. Thank You.No, I didn't forget to post one from October...I just didn't find anything all that funny. We will thankfully be wrapping up soon.
If you missed the previous months of 2007, just scroll down.
Cheers!!
23 comments:
Hello!
Happy New Year!!
Oingo boingo!
Ack...
Dirkstar: Same to you and thanks for stopping by. I think your comment may be a prophecy for the year to come...very cryptic. Cheers!!
Matt Man,
Just in case you woke up (assuming you wake up) in less than joyful mood to greet your fellow humans in the New year. Here's a song for your to sing.
I Hate People
Jamie: Ha. Thanks. That was a joyous ditty with which to start the New Year. Cheers!!
Nothing in October funny enough to justify reposting? Why do I find that so hard to believe?
October is filled with special days including Virus Appreciation Day, Come and Take it Day and Plush Animal Lover's Day. Maybe you'll have better luck in 2008!
Dana: I have made a mental note: In October 2008, drop acid, and pray for an amusing anecdote to appear. Cheers!!
LOL..Happy New Year Year Matt and thanks for all the laughs during the past year, you nut job!
Peace
Odat: Why thanks and same to you Odat. Cheers to you and yout studly dog!!
Happy new year baby! I forgive you for leaving out October!
Leighann: Happy New Year to you too, and thank you for understanding. Cheers!!
Happy New Year! 2008 is going to be a GREAT year! Just wait till I get back to work... ;-)
SMOOCHES~
oh yeah.... and DAMN YOU Roderick P. Whitworth, you tease!
Dixie: Happy New Year to you. I hope you enjoyed your time off. Cheers!!
Leighann: He's a serial teaser. Cheers!!
That buck tooth Betty is some kind of hot!
I can almost feel those teeth scraping up and down my...
Damn it Whitworth! Get the hell off my computer.
Sorry Matt. I'm down here at the nut farm and it's getting a bit out of hand. Oh wait...the blond's calling me. Gotta go, she wants to see my Tricky Dick.
Comming darling...well almost.
Jeff: You're still drunk from last night aren't you? Cheers!!
Happy New Year S n M!!
***clink***
{ya ya I know coffee clinks funny}
What a great party that's going to be. I'm so there.
I hope I get a chance to dance with and then get busy with that blonde with the adam's apple. She's HAWT! I bet she's a tiger in bed. haha
Cheesy: Happy New Year's to you. Is there any whiskey in that cup? Cheers!!
Jay: You damn well, she would be bitching the whole time saying that you weren't doing it her way. Cheers!!
So, in October - were you abstaining from WIR? Is that the reason you don't think you were funny?
Songbird: That is a hypothesis I will look into. Cheers and Happy New Year darlin'!!
Shit, the first guy looks like my landlord and NO I am not kidding.
Frackin hilarious of course Matt....come by for my more bland New Year's wish for you!
Sassy: I'll be over. Cheers!!
I'm battling dance lessons on several fronts....
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