It’s Stream Of Consciousness Friiiiiiiday so put a light bulb over my head and call me Thomas Edison because I dreamed up a very important invention.I had a dream that I was showing one of my older brothers, John, my latest invention.
What was it you ask? A Solar Powered Milk Pitcher. That’s right, I was thinking WTF, myself.
I still had to pour it myself, so I have no idea in hell what part of the pitcher required solar power. Strange.
I guess it does show that I think outside the box. Or perhaps, it proves that I should be locked up in a box. I am typing this dressed only in a towel. Does that make you randy? Does it baby?
I watched the Republican Debate last night…Fred Thompson was taking stabs at my man crush Mike Huckabee.
Watch out Fred. You mess with the Huckster, you’re not only messin’ with The Almighty; you’re messin’ with the Matt-Man, Bitch!! I cut you, man…I cut you. Boo Yah and Rikki Tikki Tavi. It’s Friday, which means it is cleaning day here again. Where’s my feather duster?
My stream is weak today. Maybe I need to start taking FloMax. I need to do an Inky and Lola for tomorrow. They have been strangely absent of late. I wonder if they have been off having stick figure sex.
Ryno’s basketball team won last night 44-13. The little man played pretty well.
Well…That’s exactly what this country needs. We need a little girl to fall down a well, and televise the rescue. Nothing would bring the country together like another little Jessica McClure trapped in a well.
This time we could fill the well with scorpions or Larry King's white, corner of the mouth speech spittle to make it more frightening and emotionally troubling.
The only man who could ever reach me was an Arkansas preacher man. Three and a half weeks until I go meatless for Lent. Most women tell me that I have gone meatless throughout my life. Should I take that as an insult?
The only man who could ever teach me, was an Arkansas preacher man.
Thanks to those of you who have sent me a brief review of my site. I have been inundated with “love”. If you haven’t sent me one, please do. Your feedback is crucial to my affirmation.
And he’s Huck, he’s Huck, he’s Huuuuuuck. I sense a new Huckabee love song in the works. Ouch, damn it. Nevermind, I’m okay.
Well folks, I hope you all of have a lovely weekend. Spend it finding a cute little girl that we can thow down a well. I’ll try to find out where the hell Inky and Lola have been.
Cheers!!
62 comments:
Crucial Rikki Tikki Tavi Reference Matt !!
Doc: There is never a bad time for a "Kipling Moment". Cheers!!
I have no doubt that the solar power was used to massage the teets to get the milk IN the pitcher!
Dana: If that's the case, I don't like it because that puts me out of a job. Cheers!!
Wow Matt that is one crazy stream of pure madness or is it great genius! Congratulations to Ryno & his team!! Good job! 44-13 what a slaughter!! that Arkansas preacher man song reminds me of "Pulp Fiction" have a fandamtastic weekend Matt!!
Roger: Thanks and thanks for the review. Pulp Fiction is one of my fave movies. Cheers my good man!!
Maybe Inky and Lola are in the well??
by the way.... I made your stuffed chicken breasts last night, YUM-O!
If I could nominate someone to be tossed into the well could it be Surri Cruise?
If Fred Thompson gets hit by lightning then we will know huck is the man.
Legihann: Did you really? Did you think of me while you were rubiing your breasts? Cheers!!
Doc: Wouldn't work...The Space Ship would swoop down and save her. No drama. Cheers!!
Hammer: True enough, but how would we know if Fred had been hit? Would he actually look like he is alive? Cheers!!
I'm concerned with your obsession with the Huckster, but then again, I've had crush on stranger folks myself. The Larry King bit threw me off. Now I can't eat breakfast. I was having egg whites too.
Eh.
Have a wonderful weekend Matt-man!
I sure did! My breasts were supple and delicious!
Deb: Good to see ya. Sorry about the Larry King thing, but egg whites, man, those are dead on for his oral, alabaster, discharges. Have a Good Weekend. Cheers!!
Leighann: I think it moved. Cheers!!
Congrats to Ryno-he da man!!
Lent is just around the corner? I have to give up meat?? Can I just suck out the juices?
Since you're already in a towel,just reach around- I'm sure you'll find the feather duster in the vicinity of you butt.
Just sign me "Randy"
Randy: You don't have to give up anything, other than you being your new pup's slave. And you were right, I was wondering what was causing that tickling sensation in my nether regions. Cheers!!
Did it keep the milk cold with out refrigeration?
No quips, no snark, no witty reply. Just stopping by to say "hey."
Hey.
I should never read you on Friday's. The whipsaw between heroic mongoose snake war and being stuck with a Dusty Springfield ear worm is just too much.
Being good isnt always easy
No matter how hard I try
When he started sweet-talkin to me
Hed come and tell me everything is all right
Hed kiss and tell me everything is all right
Can I get away again tonight?
Oh Matt....*wipes tears from eyes*
Dude - I so needed that laugh.
Trying to find words to comment, but find myself just giggling madly and shaking my head. Between you and Jo-Jo this morning, I think my boss has called the little men in white coats to take me away again.
I hope they got my jacket size right this time....
Maybe the Huckster campaign can THROW a little girl down a well. Then when the cameras get there he can be all sympathetic and kneel down and pray over the well. Then using special effects from Chinese movies God will levitate the little girl out of the well for the Huckster to grab and then hold over his head to the heavens above and thank God for answering his prayers.
It might work.
But the girl would have to be white or Fox News wouldn't cover the story at all. ;-)
Dallas: I don't know because my dream switch over to a dream about being chased by a naked Rip Taylor. Very Disturbing. Thanks for stopping. Cheers!!
Songbird: Howdy and Hey. Cheers Dear!!
Jamie: I am working on redoing those lyrics as we speak. I find Dusty's voice quite sexy. Cheers!!
Angell: Thanks, but c'mon, we both know you were quite insane prior to reading me. Cheers!!
Jay: Don't be messin' with our country's Messiah. I'll have to smite you.
But you are right about the girl. She has to be cute and white or it just ends up being on a 2 A.M. syndicated Amazing Videos Show. Cheers!!
OMG...has Chuck Norris made you his bitch? Lordy - the Huckster has you in a spell.
I think the solar power was to keep the milk cold, so you can leave that pitcher on the counter. Just a guess.
Good luck with your stream!
Tigger: The Huckster is a Svengali of Salvation, thus sayeth the Matt-Man. Thanks for caring about my stream. Cheers!!
Do you wear one of those little french maid costumes to go with your feather duster?
Congrats to Ryno! I think Inky and Lola are busy watching the debates. and Dusty is a favorite of mine. Have a good weekend Matt-man!
Raven: No costume Raven, I clean the place in the buff. If I am cleaning everything up I may as well air my boys out at the same time. Cheers!!
Lisa: Thanks. Have a good weekend as well Your Hotness. Cheers!!
Forget the well. Throw her down a caved in coal mine; it'll get everyone talking about child labor abuse and global warming effects of coal. You can even have her down there playing in the dark with lead filled toys from China! Hey...if you wait a little while you can throw Jamie Spear's child down there and say Britney did it on a drug infused rampage! I could go on...don't tempt me...
VE: You've thought this through before, haven't you? Cheers!!
i'm not sure which would be worse, hanging out in a well with scorpions or larry king's spittle. both make me want to punch myself in the tit.
Tequila: I'd rather have the scorpions. However, if you ever do want your tits pinched please don't be afraid to ask me. Thanks for stopping by. Cheers, and by the way, tequila makes my clothes fall off!!
A solar powered milk pitcher? Just how many shots did you have just before bedtime? Bwahahahah.
Larry King is scary. I too will opt for the scorpions. Very well said.
Sorry I've been absent. My DSL has been down a week due to that horrible storm we had last Friday. Keep them coming Matt-Man. :)
Sandee: I heard about that glad you made it through. I 'll keep em' coming. Have a great weekend, and Cheers!!
FRIDAY CLIFF-NOTES:
Matt dreams of more than making it with Mike Huckleberry, though like most from Arkansas he covets his brother in his dreams while pushing little girls down the well and licking the white spittle from Larry Kings lips...upon waking he wants to cut politicians from Tennessee while drawing stick figures on boxes of Flomax as he sings old songs by blond vixens from the UK...he also considers throwing his meat down the well so that the little girl, his brother, larry king and the huckleberry can munch on something until rescued...
You are so very welcome for this edition of Friday Cliff Notes
Aren't you supposed to be the son of a "preacher man"????
Love the idea...but the comb of milk & solar powered actually makes my tummy curdle...don't do it.
Bond: It's nice to know that you are here to summarize. It helps me to look at a re-cap and gives you a chance to work with actual thoughts. Cheers!!
Penelope: Me? A son of a preacher man? No silly, I am the son of an Irish hooker and a Danish kipper addict. Got Milk? Cheers!!
Gave of coffee for lent once. The baristas thought it was funny when I in after Easter screaming "The Lord is risen!! Give me a latte!"
G-Man: Praise Jesus and bring me the head of Juan Valdez.
I don't why I do it. It's not like I'm a practicing Catholic anymore. My arteries appreciate the time off though. Cheers G-Man!!
Can you please make Leighann post a picture of her supple breasts? I don't believe her. I want PROOF!
Happy Weekend!
Real: If I that power over her, I would have done it lonnnnng ago. If a miracle happens, I'll pass the pic on to you. Happy Weekend to you too, and Cheers!!
Gawd Dang you are FUNNY!
I was thinking the same as Dawn, naughty french maid outfit while cleaning... you must do a video blog if so.
Doc,
It isn't poor little Suri's fault that she has a whacko gay father!
Jahooni: Why thank ya very much. Okay maybe since that this is the second request, I may spring for a sexy French Maid outfit. I mean it's not like anyone would see me over the Internet. Cheers and Have a Good Weekend!!
video of french maid outfit please. LOL
Cathy: Hi Buddy. Hope all is well. Third request for the outfit, I guess I must do it now. Cheers!!
I'll pay you NOT to don the French maid outfit.
(Just call me cow...)
Songbird: I deliver what the audience wants. Just shut your eyes when I appear in my French Haute Coutere. Cheers!!
Awww, mannnn, here I was having a nice, relatively non-disgusting birthday, and here you have to go and mention Larry King's spittle.
Thanks.
Janna: Well Happy Birthday. Sorry about the spittle but maybe it was helpful in putting out the candles. Cheers Janna!!
I think we need to cut Mr King some slack...you'd have the uncontrollable spittle too if you were a 4,000 year old interviewer trying to control a New Yawk accent that gets thicker with every utterance.
Maybe Inky and Lola hit the campaign trail. But who would be the candidate of the stick figure peeps?
Yup, I see Inky & Lola backing the Huckster for sure!
They should star in their own You Tube Video.
Don't call me Randy~~~
You've been royally tagged by the Queen of Memes.
Long live the dungeon.
No Autographs, Please
Oh no you didn't! If I hear that version when I listen to Dusty St Marie I am gonna plotz :P
The solar power was to warm the milk, obviously. My boys can't go a day without "hot chocolate milk".
Obama wants to unite the country, so spare the girl and put him to use.
Go Mike!
Go Packers!
Travis: I don't think he is actually alive. I think it's a holograph of him. Cheers!!
CrAzY: An Inky and Lola You Tube video? Brilliant!! thanks for the tip and Cheers!!
Randy: Ha!!
Starrlight: As they say, comedy is not pretty....or fair. Cheers!!
Kila: My boys can't go a day without a good scrubbing. I'm in love with Mike. Cheers!!
Mimi: Oops I missed ya. I'l be by today to check it out. Cheers, your highness!!
bite me... ya ya right there>>>>
Cheesy: *CRUNCH* Cheers!!
Oh, shit. I forgot about the review. I'll get on that.
I was a kid when the Jessica McClure thing happened and I was riveted. It was my first real television drama and it was fantastic.
108: Take your time dear. You were riveted, that's exactly what I am sayin'. Cheers!!
Over sixty comments! Wooo! I'm sure you're exited too!
Julie: Yes I am. Cheers!!
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