Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Picturing My Way Out Da' Funk

As I mentioned in this morning's brief post, I just needed to get away from writing for a little bit before I suffered burn-out.

So I decided to stroll around the Bagwine Digs and see what things I could take pictures of...Things that are relevant and/or dear to my life.

Below, are just a few of these "things"... You can click on any of them to enlarge. Enjoy.



This is our cat, Corky. Corky is also known as "The Thing That Thinks That She Lives in 14th Century B.C. Egypt, and Thus, Thinks That She Should be Treated Like Royalty."

On top of her is Tinky Winky. Tinky Winky not only acts as Corky's bodyguard, but the Tinkster is also our tribute to the late, great, Pastor of Hate, Jerry Falwell!!






This is a picture of my favorite earring. I received it on Valentine's Day 25 years ago. How do I remember that? I don't. I made that part up because I thought it would make it more topical.

As you can see by the puffiness, my cheek still has a bit of infectious, subdermal face snot impacted in it.






Now folks, I know that this is a real treat, and few get to experience it. This a shot of the nerve center of Bagwine Ruminations. This is where I sit down and watch porn make the daily comedic magic happen.

The little light house lamp, helps me to stay out of danger and avoid the rocks of life.






Sure, some may say this is just a bathroom, but it is also my library. As you can see, I have plenty of literature from which to choose as I sit and pinch off a firm loaf of Lenten, bean fed stool.

Reading is fundamental, and I continually better myself by something I have termed, Education Through Defacation.






Speaking of Lenten food...This is a picture of what I am having for dinner tonight. I boil the noodles, and then make a sauce by melting cream cheese, sour cream, and butter into the drained noodles.

Instead of using meat in the sauce, I then dump some kidney beans into the mix. Buon Alimento!!




Lastly, and some of you have seen this one...This is a 21 year old, beer stained advertisement promoting my old stand-up comedy act at a local bar. My persona was that of a third rate lounge singer known as Joey Goodbar.

I So Rocked!!




So there you have it my wonderful readers. A pictorial glimpse into my life. I feel refreshed already.

As another therapeutic activity, later this afternoon, I will be going back over to Ryno's and help him with his Gila Monster Science Project. Ahhhhhhhh my mind is clearing as we speak.

I hope to see you all back here tomorrow, because it wouldn't be Valentine's Day without you guys...The ones so near and dear to my heart.

Cheers!!

50 comments:

Sandee said...

Thanks for the tour of your digs. I think you just need to get laid. Perhaps a blow-job. Something to refresh and clean out the pipes. Just saying. You know, you just might be going through meat withdrawals, and this explains your burnt out feeling. Have a great day Matt-Man. :)

Leighann said...

Such a tidy desk.... whodathunkit?

Yeah, you definitely need a blow job.

Schmoop said...

Sandee: Your words of wisdom are exceeded only by your warm words of concern and encouragement. Are you listening to her Schmoop!? Cheers!!

Leighann: Of course my desk is tidy...That's because the big pile of shit I collect is on the floor next to it. There's another BJ Shout-Out Schmoop. Cheers!!

Jay said...

"Joey Goodbar" LOL .. I like that. Are you the Mr. Goodbar Diane Keaton was looking for in "Looking for Mr. Goodbar"??

Schmoop said...

Jay: HA...I have been asked if I used the movie for the name and it certainly makes sense. I even tossed out miniature Mr. Goodbar candy bars to the audienece.

Oddly enough, to this day, I have no idea why I chose that name. Maybe I just thought it would be a name of an artist you would find on one of those Ronco Greatest Hits Albums. Cheers!!

The Boy said...

So when do we get a YouTube of the act? Inquiring minds want to watch!

Schmoop said...

Boy: Ha...They barely had videotape back when I was doing the act.

I don't think any copies exist, although somewhere there is a cassette tape of me singing all of my songs. I just can't find it. Cheers!!

Laura said...

Great pictures, Matt-Man! Your desk is very neat! I'm impressed! Sorry to have not posted my oh-so-witty responses of late. I've been reading, but don't have much to say to add to the sparkling intellect. Oh, happy belated birthday! Glad your oozing sore is cleaning up. How's your tooth, by the way?

Schmoop said...

Laura: Thanks...Always a pleasure to have you stop by. The face swelling is ebbing and the tooth feels okay.

The desk went back to being its usual mess after the picture was taken. Cheers!!

Lynda said...

Way cool... Joey Goodbar, sounds like a chewy delight, perhaps you were 'headin' to the appeal of hungry female viewers, full of caramel and whipped cream dreams, who knows? thanks for letting us into your life, it is like pretty friggin normal, and, that is something to ponder in itself... hahaha...

Schmoop said...

Lyn: Could be that I was the cherry that topped the female masses.

Surprised that I am normal? Did ya think I lived among a troupe of carnie folk? Cheers!!

Unknown said...

I expected Bagwine headquarters to be more...expansive, guess you save that for other things?

No heart stealing tomorrow buddy.

Lynda said...

No, not surprised that you live 'normal', just thought you would live more off the wall like... I am pretty 'normal' myself much to the worlds surprise, didn't think it would ever happen, but, it did, though, I am probably more off the wall than most would imagine me to be, so.... anyway, I enjoyed the view into you, and, cherry that topped the female masses? More like the chew toy.... hahahaha... have a good one :))))

Schmoop said...

Mama: You're right the expaniveness is reserved fo rmy brain and my pants.

And don't worry, I warm hearts; I don't steal them. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Lyn: I guess there would be some debate as to the amount of my normalcy.

And you? Off the wall? I am glad to hear that. And I appreciate the chew toy remark. Purrrrr. Cheers!!

the Book of Keira said...

I have every one of the books you showed except the Stephen Colbert one. Is it good???

Unknown said...

The Colbert book is an utter riot. I actually have all of those books too. Great collection!

I've seen all of these things, Matt. Why didn't you show the picture of Eddie Money??

Schmoop said...

108: The Colbert book as Allie said, is a fucking riot. Cheers!!

Allie: I have to sav esomething back. I have decided I will do this kind of post whenever I am at a loss.

And by the way, you didn't see everything...Dammit. Cheers!!

Durward Discussion said...

A delightful tour of the highlights of your domicile. It only lacked Edward R. Murrow and Person to Person.

Schmoop said...

Jamie: Ha...thanks and I always appreciate your very cleverly referenced comments. Cheers Jamie!!

Anndi said...

I love that poster!

I'd have thought you would have shown us the shrine to Rachel Ray where you sacrifice squirrels... or is that just the can?

Mo and The Purries said...

1. Love it that you use your own Bagwine mousepad.
2. How LONG did it take to clean off the desk before taking that pic? Oh, and a table runner???? I sense Schmoop's hand in this...
3. I ♥ Corky!

Schmoop said...

Anndi: The only shrine I have to RR is what I leave in the toilet in the morning. Cheers!!

Mo:

1. Well, the table is an antique. It needs some protection.

2. Only two seconds. I merely pushed the shit onto the floor next to the table.

3. Don't make Corky feel any more special than she already does.

4. Cheers!!

Unknown said...

Well of course I didn't see everything. It's not my fault your zipper got stuck.

Schmoop said...

Allie: Damn Chinese made zippers. They are always finding new Birth Control methods. Cheers!!

Dana said...

I kept looking for the image that I wanted to click on to enlarge, but alas, it was no where to be found!

And what did you do with the Maxim magazine and the Kleenex box?? I know you usually keep them on your desk!

Schmoop said...

Dana: You wanted to enlarge an image of my brain, right?

The Maxim and Kleenex were swept out of the way in case kids were viewing. Cheers!!

Dana said...

Sure Matt-Man ... I guess you could call it your brain ... men sometimes do think with it *wink*

Lee Ann aka Dixie said...

Joey Goodbar ummmmmmmmmmm....

I'm NOT going there... nope... no way... you can't make me... ;-)

Wish my desk was that tidy...

SMOOCHES~

Jahooni said...

you were gone for only like 5 minutes!!!!

okay, where does the "real" magic happen???? ;-)

Karen said...

I am a little (ok a lot) scared of what you are having for dinner. Cream Cheese, Sour Cream and Noodles. Oh, the Italian Grandma in me is confused.

Raven said...

I'm kind of disappointed...I thought we were going to see pictures of the whips and chains and KY.
Oh-well...maybe next time you burn out.

Liz Hill said...

I am going to send you an emergency Serious Meat Pizza--I'm serious

Schmoop said...

Dana: It all begins upstairs if it's gonna be any good. Cheers!!

Dixie: Oh c'mon, go there. It's only tidy because I have a mild case of OCD. Cheers!!

Jahooni: The REAL magic happens when I get in the shower. In fact sometimes, I'm not even by myself. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Karen: It is actually quite tasty despite of its look. After I cook it, I bake it in the oven with shredded cheese on top. Cheers!!

Raven: Maybe you will. I do have my darker periods in life at times. Cheers!!

TB: Why? This shit is really good. I invented it last Lent. Cheers!!

The Teamster said...

interesting Matt....porn at the desk and Jon Stewart in the bathroom....out west it would be porn in the bathroom and Jon Stewart at the desk.....

and for the record....men always want blowjob.....

thanks for the peek into your world...

btw....NMFA ratified....

Lex Valentine said...

Corky looks a lot like our last cat (pre-Feral Brothers) Skunk. Skunk was an American Polydactyl... er, he had 7 toes. We loved him dearly... despite his name. LOL

Your desk is awesome. It makes mine look like a cesspool. Except for the fact that I have a tower rather than a laptop. (An absolutely awesome, lit with green lights in a plexiglass side panel, tower that houses a computer I built myself one weekend this past Sept.) When it comes to my desk at home, I'm a slob. Work desk is a diff story.

Your bathroom looks good too! Mine is yet another cesspool ruled over by my 18 yr old and her pussy... er, her kitten Neko Monster.

Your dinner... doesn't look good. I won't tell you what I had.

Hey! There's the Marcus Award! You rule Matt! MUAH!

Schmoop said...

Teamster: Well we hicks are all a bit backwards here in the Midwest. Yeah I heard the Agreement was passed, Fairly impressive margin as well. Congrats and Cheers!!

Winter: It is a sweet antique desk. Well tell your daughter to keep her pussy clean and out of the bathroom dammit.

The dinner was magnifique. Dont judge a book by it's cover. Cheers and MUAH right back at ya!!

Anonymous said...

I feel so close to you now!

Your computer desk looks suspiciously clean. Is it always that organized>?

Odat said...

Nice bedtime story!
Peace

katherine. said...

what the eph is it with cats on blogs?

still working on getting the teamster pierced....those kind of pictures don't help any.

you're a south paw....I should have known...that explains a great deal...

I love the lighthouse.

where is your copy of Glenn Beck?

J O E Y G O O D B A R ???

Unknown said...

Fab, Matt-Man! You have given me inspiration for a future post.

Schmoop said...

Birdman: I can sense your presence. My desk? Actually, it is usually fairly neat. Maybe not this sparse, but close. Thanks for stopping, Cheers!!

Odat: You will have visions of me in your head...I apologize for that. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Kat: Wow...So many questions. My cat demanded some face time.

Sorry for the piercing set back. And exactly what are you gleaning from my left-handedness? Gleen Beck is a third rate right wing muckraker. Joey Goodbar is cool, is he not? Cheers Kat!!

Nick: Take advantage of it. A few pictures are worth a hundred words. Which of course, is an average sized post. Happy Birthday. Cheers!!

desert rat said...

1. Hmmm... that desk IS freakishly tidy.

2. Loooove Corky - my cat, Uh'Clem, bless his mud-and-automobile-oil-covered little white paws (and body, for that matter) - isn't quite as "royal" but I've heard it's a cat thing and we just have to deal with it in order to blessed by their deitous presence.

3. I'm making that noodle-cheese shit - it actually doesn't look half bad.

4. I've got "America, the TEACHER'S edition" - always good for insomnia.

5. Joey Goodbar?!

Schmoop said...

Desrt Rat: I knew that at least someone would appreciate my Haute Cuisine.

The Teacher's Edition, eh? I'm jealous. Joey Goodbar, sweet name isn't it? Cheers!!

Angell said...

Thanks for sharing your abode with us Matt-Man. Hope your face gets back to normal soon. Your kitty is so cute! And I have to agree with Desert Rat - the desk is unusually tidy for someone with a mind as messed up as yours XP.

Happy Valentine's Day Mr. Goodbar!!

SMOOCHES (but just this once LOL)

Schmoop said...

Angell: Thanks for coming 'round, and planting a smooch on me. Happy Valentine's Day to you Angell. Cheers!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

That lighthouse got the song Birdhouse In Your Soul stuck in my head.

Dammit!

Schmoop said...

Starr: A Thousand Pardons my dear. Cheers!!