Good Intentions Won't Clean The Closet

I really put off writing a Bagwine post today, and had no topic ideas.

I finally said to myself, “Self, why not write about something which you really love talking about?”

So, this post is about…well…ME.

The most illustrative part of this post is that, for me, it is being put up much later than typical.

Why is that, you ask? Well…

I have always tested between 145-152 on IQ tests. I have tested as high as 38 on the Wunderlich test.

However, intelligence doesn’t help much when one, like myself, is an underachiever, a procrastinator, and not great on follow through.

A few examples…

When young I would take a lawn chair to the baseball games. My play at second base suffered because of it…

Although the opposing players did have problems stealing second with me sitting in the base path.

I remember one time in college when I fell asleep face down in the middle of some chick’s muffin while mowin' her lawn.

It was like I said to myself, “She had some fun. It’ll still be here tomorrow. In spite of the smell and humidity, I’ll sleep here.”

Next morning I was still there with my face feeling like a bagel slathered in cream cheese and lox.

Yeah, my follow through on things has always been a bit suspect.

I have a closet full of clothes that I have been meaning to go through. Yet, there they lay. A family of moths could live three millennia off the T-Shirts alone.

I have told Schmoop for months that I would clean her car out. It’s still a train wreck inside.

Water bottles, cigarette packs, papers, and used condoms litter the inside of her car. Trash everywhere.

Hell if there were a couple of dead, half melted Japanese in the backseat it would look like a re-creation of the Hiroshima A-bomb attack.

Ironic, because it is a Honda.

Back when I was married, from day one the future ex-Mrs. Matt-Man wanted a baby. Seven years later, I gave her one.

Yep, I guess I am one laid back mo-foe who is fraught with many flaws, and bad habits, but like I said, I do have a high IQ.

And why do I mention that?

Because, those acute mental capabilities sure come in handy when I attempt to rationalize and make excuses for all of my shortcomings.

See ya tomorrow for Half-Nekkid Thursday.

Cheers!!